Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

most of the job Individual are asked for their personal information whether they are married or single which is important but some of them are not agree for asking such information. i will discuss both option along with my prospective in upcoming paragraphs.

starting with people agree with asking information related to their personal life. as there are many beneficial plans for spouse where companies are helping with 50% of health insurance of a partner. for example in villa colombo full time workers ae helped with full coverage insurance along with their spouse too. therefore, information related to personal life is good.

on the other side, this is called informal information for applying a job and asking such questions hobbies, interest and marital status. jobs like driving where most of the companies are not providing and benefit not even activities in their yard as there job is straight drive and go home where there is no need of asking personal information and keen activities for instance in stargate logistics where my uncle was driving they asked for information related to his interest and he refused because he was not confortable for sharing those information as there was no activies in their truck yard so thats why hts is not go a good reponde for asking these things.

in my prospectives, asking my interest and marital status is an excellent idea as i am extrovert person where i am full interested to share my things with others without any hesitation and it makes a goof bond in a team work where a group of people can enjoy their leaisure time together whiling knowing each others like break times. for example in my company we are ahving 1 day biweekly where we are doing physical activities related to our intereste to increase our profit and getting 30 to 40% of benfit for our spouse.

To conclude everybody have there own point of view but in my side its benefits both employee and employers to learn about each other awell before joining any job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the argument for personal information (insurance benefits) is clear, the counter-argument regarding 'stargate logistics' is somewhat confusing and lacks focus, as it conflates job requirements with personal privacy. The personal opinion is clear but relies heavily on personal anecdotes rather than broader logical reasoning. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a distinct, well-supported argument that directly relates to the prompt's core question about the relevance of personal data in a professional setting.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is often hindered by awkward phrasing and weak transitions. While cohesive devices like 'starting with', 'on the other side', and 'in my prospectives' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the third paragraph where the connection between the uncle's experience and the broader argument about personal information is muddled. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of the writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'ae', 'confortable', 'reponde', 'leaisure', 'intereste') and some word-choice issues, such as 'keen activities' or 'informal information', which do not accurately convey the intended meaning. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'health insurance' and 'marital status', the overall control is limited. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure accurate spelling of common terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is inconsistent. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'everybody have there own'), article usage, and sentence construction (e.g., 'as there are many beneficial plans... therefore, information related to personal life is good'). Punctuation is also problematic, with many run-on sentences that lack necessary commas or full stops. While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors require attention. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would help improve the accuracy of the writing.

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