Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Nowadays it is often seen that employer asks for a lot of personal information when he/ she hires an employee. Some people say it is a good idea to collect the personal information of employees about their hobbies, interest and marital status, while others say it is irrelevant and not useful at all. I personally believe it is a good idea to collect these information, as it may help employer to make better decision.

To start with, why do some people argue that collecting personal information would not make a much of difference? To answer, there are lots of people who think employees should be hired on the basis of the previous experience, knowledge and academic certificate that he has. Also, people feel although an employee provides the personal information, such as liking and disliking, his/ her marital status, hobbies and interest, he or she may not be promoted or hired to the higher position or salary. Thus, it looks completely useless to ask.

On the other side, there is a group of people who think it is a good idea if company asks interviewer about some personal information in the interview. The first reason could be thinking about company's environment. When an employer asks for the personal information, such as hobby, interest and all, he/she often tries to understand or anticipate how well the interviewee will get mix into the company's environment. Also, will he be benefited to company in long run or will he prioritize company's demand over his individual needs or hobbies if needed. The second reason could be making salary decision. To elaborate, company usually asks for the marital status when they interview a candidate, and they do it because they often want to understand candidate's salary expectation. If someone is married and h has children, he or she would not get agreed to work on low wage, but someone who is single may get ready to work on low salary. So, it helps company to hire skilled worker and save cost at the same time.

To wrap up, yes, according to many people asking an employee about personal information is not needed or helpful. However, as far as I concern it is important, as it allows company to make better decision in hiring process.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, particularly the discussion on company culture and salary negotiations. However, some points are slightly under-developed; for instance, the argument regarding 'hobbies' could be more explicitly linked to professional suitability. The position is consistent throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, ensure that the reasoning for each side is fully explored with more nuanced examples, rather than relying on general statements about 'getting mixed into the environment'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'To start with', 'On the other side', and 'To wrap up' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are occasional issues with referencing, such as 'these information' (which is grammatically incorrect and lacks a clear antecedent). Improving the variety of cohesive links would enhance the flow and elevate the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'interviewee', 'salary expectation', and 'hiring process'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'get mix into' instead of 'fit into' or 'integrate into', and 'collect these information' (information is uncountable). While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the score. Using more precise collocations would demonstrate a stronger command of the language.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the company's environment', 'the interviewee'), subject-verb agreement ('employer asks'), and pluralization ('these information'). There are also minor punctuation and phrasing issues, such as 'he or she would not get agreed to work'. The student demonstrates an ability to construct complex sentences, but the frequency of minor errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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