Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many employers require datials of applicant's lesiure activities, personal interest as well as their marital status for job application. Several people believe providing such information is appropriate and agree with this practice, others argue that these details are irrelevant and disagree with this statment. Before attending my view both the views will be discussed in the following paragraphs.

Discussing the former view, In which certain people find this practice useful. Firstly, they argue that such a information can help employers to gain better understanding of candidate's personalities and identify qualities such as teamwork, creativity and communication skills. Secondly, knowing applicant's interest may help companies to create positive working environment by organizing activities that encourage interaction among the staff. Furthermore, information about applicant's personal circumstances may sometimes help employers to understand their avalibility for job that required frequent travelling, relocation or flexible working hours.

On the other hand, others argue that this information has no relevance to a person's ability to performe job. Moreover, information regarding spare time activities wastes time during recuritment. By this I mean that collecting and evaluating unnecessary personal information can make the application process longer and less efficient. Additionally they argue that, job performace is more important than personal information. For instance, applicant's education qualification, privious experience and professional abilities are more crucial for job position.

In conclusion, some people may find personal information may unnecessarily waste time and not required for employment. However, I believe that details are important for recruitment as it helps to

identify communication skills, creativity as well as suitability for flexible working hours.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of teamwork and communication skills for the pro-side, and the efficiency of the recruitment process for the counter-argument. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'availability' is a good point but could have been expanded with a specific example of a role requiring travel. The position is consistent throughout, though the introduction is slightly repetitive in its phrasing. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task well.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader through the arguments. However, there are some mechanical issues with cohesion, such as the awkward phrasing 'In which certain people find this practice useful' at the start of the second paragraph, which does not function well as a complete sentence. Additionally, some transitions feel slightly forced. Despite these minor issues, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'datials' (details), 'lesiure' (leisure), 'avalibility' (availability), 'performe' (perform), and 'recuritment' (recruitment). While these errors are frequent, they do not impede communication. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to discuss the topic, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, the student should focus on accurate spelling and incorporating more topic-specific collocations related to human resources and professional recruitment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, including missing articles ('a information', 'for job'), incorrect pluralization ('applicant's' instead of 'applicants''), and subject-verb agreement issues. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward sentence fragments, such as 'In which certain people find this practice useful.' While the errors are noticeable and occur frequently, they rarely cause confusion or impede the reader's understanding of the main points. The student demonstrates a basic control of grammar, but more attention to detail and sentence construction is needed for a higher score.

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