Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the recruitment process, some employers ask candidates to provide personal information about their hobbies, interests and family circumstances. While such details can occasionally help employers assess a candidate's personality and suitability for a particular role, I believe that private information should generally have little influence on hiring decisions.

On one hand, personal information could be useful to assess a candidate's qualities by knowing their hobbies and interests in daily life. Person who is sociable and enjoys sports would have qualities such as strong communication skills and teamwork which could benefit the organization in several different ways. For example, someone who regularly plays games like volleyball, basketball would be both mentally and physical strong and demonstrate teamwork and discipline. In addition, Candidate will have more will-power than other's candidate. Secondly, a sociable and extroverted person may have stronger communication and networking skills, which could help companies who are looking for a candidate in the client-facing and customer service roles.

On the other hand, it's unnecessary asking for personal information such as marital status and other private information generally shouldn't influence recruitment. Furthermore, It can lead to discrimination and this information doesn't determine anybody's abilities. Employers should focus on qualifications, experience and skills for the candidate, it would help companies to shortlist candidate fast and filling the vacancy. For example, candidate who have strong experience would increase productivity than the candidate with zero experience but married.

In Conclusion, employers should focus on candidates qualification and other valuable skills which could help to make their job easy and fast. Although, some information could be valuable for the recruitment such as hobbies and interest to know about the person ability, The information such as marital status or private information can lead to discrimination.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between sports and teamwork, and the potential for discrimination regarding marital status. However, some arguments are slightly under-developed; for instance, the claim that a candidate who plays sports has more 'will-power' is asserted without sufficient explanation. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more nuanced reasoning rather than relying on generalizations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'In addition,' and 'Furthermore' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. For example, the jump from discussing teamwork to 'will-power' lacks a smooth connecting phrase. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'it' in the final paragraph, which could be more precisely linked to the preceding ideas. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'recruitment process,' 'suitability,' and 'discrimination.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are occasional errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'unnecessary asking' (should be 'unnecessarily asking') and 'candidate who have strong experience' (should be 'candidates who have'). While the meaning is never in doubt, the vocabulary lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Expanding the range of synonyms and collocations would improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the candidate,' 'a candidate'), subject-verb agreement ('Candidate will have,' 'candidate who have'), and pluralization ('other's candidate'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some issues with capitalization and comma usage. Despite these errors, the communication of ideas is not impeded. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding articles and noun-verb agreement, and aim for more varied, error-free complex structures.

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