Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, many people believe that it is important to put personal history such as hobbies, interests and whether they are married or single while apply for jobs. In my opinion it is good idea to ask about hobbies and interests while hiring process, as it would be help any organization to find easily about individual's background where asking about personal history such as marital status should not be considered during hiring process.

On the one hand, mention about personal history during apply for jobs can be easy access for any company to collect more data of person. Sometimes, selection is depend on gender base whether company wants to select male or female to do task. For instance, many warehouses select individual based upon duties if the work is physical demanding company need male to do that work.

On the second hand, other people disagree on this. The top most reason behind this is related to privacy concerns. Few people not consider themselves provide any personal information which saves in company's datasheet , they may be want to keep secure their personal history and not prefer to share on company's portal. Furthermore, some of them being afraid because of miss use of personal data.

Asking about someone's preference may be cause of not selection about discrimination. An employer might be favor a single person about that this person can be more flexible or available for them. Recruitments should therefore based on experience, skills and professional behaviour.

In conclusion, although hobbies and interests sometimes provide useful information about candidate, personal circumstances such as marital status should not be considered when making employment decisions. I believe hiring should be based on merit and job-related qualities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the relevance of personal information and the privacy concerns associated with it. You clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain it throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the argument regarding gender-based selection is a bit underdeveloped and could be more clearly linked to the broader debate. While you provide reasons for your views, some points, such as the mention of 'warehouses' and 'physical demanding' work, could be expanded to better illustrate the complexity of the issue. Overall, the response is relevant and the position is consistent.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use transition signals such as 'On the one hand', 'On the second hand', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some cohesive devices are used mechanically or slightly inaccurately, such as 'On the second hand' (which should be 'On the other hand'). Additionally, the referencing within sentences is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'some of them being afraid because of miss use of personal data'. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, covering topics like 'privacy concerns', 'discrimination', and 'merit'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'mention about personal history' (instead of 'mentioning personal details'), 'miss use' (misuse), and 'not selection about discrimination'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To reach a higher band, focus on using more natural collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'it is good idea' (missing article), 'while hiring process' (preposition error), 'selection is depend on' (verb form error), and 'Recruitments should therefore based on' (missing auxiliary verb). While these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your main points. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and the formation of passive voice structures.

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