Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that some enterpreneurs ask candidates about their personal bio data including passion, interest, and even their martial status, which could be irrelevant or wasteful information to choose a candidtae while applying for jobs, whereas others think it is a substantial data for selection. As per my perspective, this information cofirms the suitability and availability of a person.

On the one hand, the main reason for asking personal hobbies and interests is to judge an individual for the requirements a particular job. For instance, if a person likes to play a soocer game might be an ideal candidate as a team leader for school children. This interest may priortize their suitabiliity for this specific job. Moreover, knowing their bachelor status may helps an official to choose a capable jobseeker for long shift jobs. Married people would not give their availability more than a bachelor.

On the other hand, giving personal details may initiate discrimination. In the tourism sector, many candidates chose on the basis of their martial status because of their flexibility. A married person may not be selected due to their domestic responsibilites and flexibility. Security is an another factor considered to disclose information. When people search a workplace, which might likely to be known place for them at intial stage. Rendering data of your identification may misuse in the future. Many scammer often used their name on banking fake calls. Therefore, using this information may become detrimental for someone.

To conclude, while using person facts often become security issue and personal bias, knowing of their personal stake would be beneficial to know about an enemy person to choose perfection for a particular job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the discussion on team leadership and the potential for discrimination. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding security and scammers is a bit tangential to the core debate about job suitability, and the conclusion is slightly confusing in its phrasing ('enemy person'). While the task is fully addressed, the depth of the arguments could be improved to reach a higher band. The position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a positive aspect of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'Security is an another factor considered to disclose information'. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between 'personal stake' and 'enemy person' is confusing. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the flow could be smoother with more varied and precise linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, though there are several instances of imprecise word choice and spelling errors. For example, 'enterpreneurs' (entrepreneurs), 'martial status' (marital status), 'soocer' (soccer), and 'priortize' (prioritize) detract from the quality of the writing. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'suitability', 'discrimination', and 'detrimental', the frequent spelling errors and occasional awkward collocations (e.g., 'give their availability') limit the score. To improve, the student should focus on accurate spelling and more natural phrasing in a professional context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'many candidates chose on the basis' (should be 'are chosen'), 'may helps' (should be 'may help'), and 'When people search a workplace, which might likely to be known place' (fragmented and awkward syntax). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. The student demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, but control over these is inconsistent. More attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence construction is needed.

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