Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that some entrepreneurs ask candidates about their personal bio data including passion, interest, and even their marital status, which could be irrelevant or wasteful information to choosing a candidtae for a job, whereas others think that it is substantial data for the recruitment. In per my perspective, this information cofirms the suitability and availability of a person.

On the one hand, the main reason for asking personal hobbies and interests is to judge an individual for the requirements a particular job. For instance, if a person likes to play soocer, it might be a better idea to choose an ideal candidate as a team leader for school children. This interest may priortize their chances to get this specific job. Moreover, knowing their bachelor status may help an official to choose a capable jobseeker for long hours shifts. Married people would not give their availability more than a bachelor.

On the other hand, giving personal details may initiate discrimination. In the tourism sector, many candidates are choosing on the basis of their marital status because of their flexibility. A married person may not be selected due to their domestic responsibilites towards home. Security is another factor considered to disclose information. When people search a workplace, which might likely to be an unknown place for them at initial stage. Rendering data of your identification may be misused in the future. Many scammers often used their personal name on a fake banking calls. Therefore, using this information may become detrimental for a jobseeker.

To conclude, while using personal facts often become security issue and personal bias, knowing of their personal stake would be beneficial to know about an enemy person to choose a perfect worker for a particular job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. Your ideas are relevant, such as the mention of team leadership and potential discrimination in the tourism sector. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the argument regarding 'security' and 'scammers' is a bit tangential to the core debate about recruitment suitability. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point directly supports the central theme of whether personal information is relevant to hiring. Your position is consistent throughout the essay, which is a strength.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'knowing of their personal stake would be beneficial to know about an enemy person.' Improving the logical connection between sentences would enhance the overall flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'recruitment,' 'detrimental,' and 'flexibility.' However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'personal bio data,' 'bachelor status' (instead of 'marital status'), and 'enemy person' (which seems to be a misuse of 'individual'). Spelling errors like 'soocer,' 'priortize,' and 'cofirms' also occur. To improve, focus on using more precise terminology and proofreading for common spelling mistakes to ensure your vocabulary is used with greater accuracy and sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'many candidates are choosing on the basis of' (should be passive: 'are chosen'), 'Married people would not give their availability more than a bachelor' (awkward comparison), and 'Many scammers often used their personal name' (tense inconsistency). Punctuation is generally functional, but some sentence structures are clunky. Increasing your control over complex sentence forms and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help you achieve a higher score.

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