Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information in my opinion for jobs may be useful according their ability and hobbies that is good idea because jobs not only for money it depends on your interests some peoples interests in their work according to their hobbies . these informations are useful when emplyees ask you because it create a your personal background in my point of view it is greatful for every people when you are work in a company and other places .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, reaching only 86 words. Consequently, the task is not fully addressed. The ideas are presented in a very fragmented and underdeveloped manner. While you attempt to touch upon the relevance of personal information in job applications, the arguments lack depth, examples, and a clear structure. To improve, you must expand on your points by providing specific reasons and real-world examples to support your opinion, ensuring you meet the minimum length requirement to allow for a full discussion of both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response lacks paragraphing and logical progression. Ideas are presented in a single, run-on block of text, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. There is a lack of cohesive devices (such as 'however', 'furthermore', or 'consequently') to link your sentences together. The flow is disjointed, and the absence of clear transitions between the two opposing views and your own opinion makes the essay difficult to navigate. You should focus on organizing your thoughts into clear paragraphs: one for each viewpoint and one for your own conclusion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You rely on simple words like 'good', 'useful', and 'jobs' throughout the text. There are also errors in word choice and form, such as 'these informations' (information is uncountable) and 'greatful' (should be 'grateful' or 'beneficial'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or nuanced arguments. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment, recruitment, and professional conduct, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The text contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There is a lack of punctuation, with many sentences running into each other without proper capitalization or full stops. You struggle with basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. For example, 'some peoples interests in their work' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple, error-prone sentences. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction, punctuation, and the correct use of pluralization and verb tenses before attempting more complex structures.
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