Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Companies hiring these days ask for your personal details, hobbies and interests. I believe they should be more concerned about the degree's or experience you have in the particular field they are hiring in, rather personal information.

A lot of companies these days ask about all the personal details starting from you having a spouse, children etc. Some companies or jobs do get this kind of information because there are family benefits or insurance given with the job especially when it comes to jobs serving the government, So, for some jobs this kind of information is needed. For Example, In Pakistan Army when an officer is being posted to a certain city they ask if they are married or single because single officers are given a mess to stay in and officers that are married or have children are usually given a house at the time of posting.

When it comes to jobs given by private companies there are no such benefits given for the family. Private companies usually don't offer any kind of residence or insurances unless or until it is a permanent and while hiring most companies do not offer permanent jobs.

I personally believe that any information that does not concerns you knowledge or work of your working field should not be asked. Some employers are extremely gender biased that while hiring a women they see if she is married or have children according to them women cannot manage both home and work efficiently if they are not single. While, on the other hand men are not treated the same way.

So, hiring should only be done keeping the information required for the job only. No personal information should be asked.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both the relevance of personal information in hiring and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the example of the Pakistan Army, which illustrates why marital status might be a functional requirement. However, the development of the opposing view is somewhat limited, and the argument regarding private companies could be more nuanced. The position is consistent throughout the essay, though the conclusion is brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that the discussion of why some people find this information 'useful' is explored with more depth, rather than focusing primarily on the negative aspects of gender bias.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each perspective, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For Example,' 'While, on the other hand,' and 'So,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the transition between the discussion of government jobs and private sector practices is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints, which helps the overall readability of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at topic-specific vocabulary, such as 'permanent,' 'gender biased,' and 'efficiently.' However, there are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'does not concerns you knowledge' (should be 'concern your knowledge') and 'degree's' (should be 'degrees'). The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey meaning, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Using more varied synonyms for 'hiring' or 'personal information' would improve the lexical variety.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the degree's or experience you have' (incorrect pluralization/possessive), 'a women' (should be 'a woman'), and 'if they are not single' (referring to women). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, as these are recurring issues throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.