Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, many individuals hold diverse opinion on a wide range of topics. Some people opine that providing personal information such as hobbies, interest and married status to employer is useful whereas other believes that employee should keep their private life separate. In my opinion, it is critically importent to analyse both sides of argument before forming a well-definte opinion.

To begin with, there are several benefits of sharing personal information with owner. The first and foremost is that an employee can easily get time off on their special occasions such as birthday and anniversary. As employer is aware about the reality. Secondly, some people feels that workplace is another home for them and share their personal life. Hence, employer can co-relate their situation with them. Additionally, employer can provide gift hamper as per worker family needs on special festivals such as Diwali, Lohri. To elaborate it, mainly in India, companies provide family pack gifts to their worker in order to represent their respect for families.

However, the drawback of sharing personal life at work place should not be ignored. Over explaning about personal information can increase dispute between family. As, sometime another partner is not comfortable to sharing secrets such as status, financial needs and love life. Moreover, it can also affect privacy of a couple in public places. To elaborate it, sometime an employer can interact you on social club, restaurant places and introduce as a worker. Hence, it lead embrassment for an employee family. Therefore, it is better to keep life private for healthy and balanced life.

In conclusion, the debate surrounding sharing personal information with an employer is multifaceted with valid reasons on both sides of arguments. While supporters emphasize the benefits, opponents arise important consideration. In my opinion, individual should share personal information but to some extent until it is not affecting their own life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the benefits of workplace rapport and the potential for privacy concerns. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'dispute between family' is a bit vague and could have been expanded with more specific examples. The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis is more characteristic of a Band 6, as some points are stated rather than fully explored.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', 'However', and 'In conclusion', which help the reader follow the flow of the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or misused, such as 'As, sometime another partner is not comfortable'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection between 'employer' and 'co-relate their situation' is somewhat disjointed. Overall, the progression is coherent, but the management of cohesive devices lacks the flexibility required for a higher band.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'multifaceted' and 'well-definte'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'owner' instead of 'employer', 'co-relate their situation', and 'lead embrassment'. Spelling errors, such as 'importent', 'definte', and 'embrassment', also occur. While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more precise control over vocabulary and better attention to spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('some people feels', 'it lead embrassment') and article usage ('the drawback of sharing personal life at work place'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some sentence fragments and missing commas. Despite these errors, the meaning is generally clear, and the errors do not cause significant difficulty for the reader. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles.

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