Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Personal information of the person applying job is accessed while the interview. People think that this information is more useful and provides relevancy but some people disagree this. In this essay I would not only discuss both views but also will provide my opinion before illustrating any conclusion.
On the one hand, some people think that asking personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single while interview is relevant and useful. The reason for this is that employer will be familiar with the hobbies and the other information of the applier so that the employer can find out the correct position of work for the applier. It too helps the employer to provide the relevant work according to the interests so that he employee do not feel bored while working. Employer too find out how much burden should be provided to the employee, ergo the employee can give time to his family too.
On the other hand, some people disagree that the personal information should not be asked while interview. People think that providing personal information can lead to a risk of lose to their information. The employer is an unknown person for the interviewee and it can be dangerous to trust that person. As per my knowledge, two years ago a person was theft just after his interview in the local company that was later found fraud. It was because that person provided information that he was living alone at home.
In conclusion, although asking personal information is relevant and useful for the company yet in my opinion it could be sometimes dangerous and the life of the person can be at risk, so personal information like number of family members or married life should not be disclosed while interview.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the argument regarding 'burden' and 'boredom' is a bit simplistic and lacks depth. The example provided about the 'theft' is a bit anecdotal and slightly off-topic, as it focuses on general safety rather than the professional relevance of the information requested by employers. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the professional implications of sharing personal data, such as potential bias or discrimination, rather than focusing solely on physical safety.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal shifts in the argument. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear (e.g., 'the applier' is used repeatedly instead of pronouns or synonyms). The transition between the idea of 'burden' and 'family time' is also a bit abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'personal information', 'useful', and 'relevant'. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'accessed while the interview' (should be 'during the interview') and 'a person was theft' (should be 'a person was robbed'). To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to human resources, privacy, and professional conduct, and focus on using more natural collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles ('the interview'), incorrect preposition usage ('while interview'), and subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'he employee do not feel'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these recurring errors prevent the writing from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with articles, prepositions, and verb forms, and aim to use more varied complex sentence structures with greater precision.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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