Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this contemporary era, as technology is proliferating everywhere all things are becoming digital. In job market many employers request candidates their private details like hobbies, interests, and marital status. Few masses agree on this and few denied it. In my opinion these pieces of information are very useful. This essay will explicate both views and my opinion in forthcoming paragraphs.

To commence with first view, a group of individuals deem that it is useful information because it shows personal interest, hobbies and all things of person. Firstly prominent benefit is that by analysing all things company can decide that person is suitable for the role or not. Secondly, hobbies shows the activeness of person. For example, Job role is in warehouse and person have hobbies like to spend time in gym then that is perfect match candidate for role.

On the other side, a group of people think it is useless to collect these all information. By giving personal information they may put their privacy in risk because at the these all information is collected by software and if somebody hack it then it will put thier safety in risk. Additionally, Somehow they think company will judge them by these information.

In my point of view, these all extra information is very crucial for company .However, It is not supports any in job roles but for HR it is more important. They collect these all details and make a survey of people and keep track of people like what kind of people are more active or managing tasks properly.These all things will give a positive outcome to the company.

In conclusion, Employers are taking personal information sometimes but it is helpful for them to chose best candidates and for future candidate analysis so I am agree with that thing.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, including both views and a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'warehouse' example is a bit simplistic and lacks depth. The discussion on privacy is relevant but could be expanded with more sophisticated reasoning. The position is consistent throughout, but the supporting arguments would benefit from more detailed elaboration to reach a higher band. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task but remains at a basic level of development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'On the other side', and 'In conclusion', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly unnatural, such as 'In this contemporary era' or 'Few masses agree'. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression of ideas is logical, though the connection between sentences occasionally feels repetitive.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'information', 'people', and 'things'. Some word choices are slightly unnatural or inaccurate, such as 'Few masses' instead of 'Some people' or 'explicate' which is used in a slightly forced manner. While the meaning is always clear, the lack of variety and occasional awkward collocations limit the score. To improve, focus on using more precise synonyms and idiomatic expressions relevant to the professional context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'as technology is proliferating everywhere all things are becoming digital' (missing punctuation), 'hobbies shows' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'it is not supports' (incorrect verb form). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. The punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage and capitalisation after full stops. A greater focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence structure is necessary.

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