Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Many company require private details like hobbies and interests during recruiting. Some individuals think it is beneficial for job, while others believe its totally optional.

On the one hand, multiple firms asking people to their interest and marital status while applying for job as it play a crucial role in company. This is to say, people with specific interest may be useful in some cases. As they are capable to do that work more efficiently. Which is very important for growing company. Apart form this, personal details like matrimonial status can helps in emergency situation as they can easily contact them. For example, famous firms like Apple ask their employees about their passion and goal as this is play a pivotal role in growth and success of business.

On the other hand, opponents think that it is unnecessary for jobs. In other words, many people have quite unrelated interest. Which is not valuable in work. Moreover, dating status is very private things, it should be not disclosed in professional life according to some individuals because it prevent bias assumptions. For instance, according to the USA researchers that it is against a law to ask people about their private relation status in order to prevent one sides assumption in work.

In my point of view factors such as personal relation status and passion are valuable in professional life as it equally play a major role in success of the company.

In conclusion, nowadays many employers need informations like private relation status and passion or goal. According to me and some people it can helps people in medical emergency and development. While others are disagree with this notion as they consider this ideas pointless.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that hobbies can be useful for efficiency and marital status for emergency contact, these points are not fully extended or supported with deep analysis. The example regarding Apple is vague, and the reference to USA researchers is a generalisation. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of why these views are held, rather than just stating them. Your position is clear, but the supporting arguments need more depth to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' to signal the structure. However, some transitions are mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'Which is very important for growing company.' The flow between sentences could be improved by avoiding fragmented sentences that start with 'Which' or 'As'. Overall, the essay is easy to follow, but the management of cohesive devices needs more flexibility.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'pivotal role', 'opponents', and 'disclosed'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'matrimonial status' (marital status is more common), 'one sides assumption' (one-sided assumptions), and 'many company' (many companies). Some vocabulary is repetitive, particularly the use of 'interest' and 'status'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that you are using the correct plural forms and word endings. The range is sufficient to communicate your meaning, but lacks the precision required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('many company require', 'status can helps'), missing articles ('against a law'), and sentence fragments ('Which is not valuable in work'). While you attempt complex structures, they are often faulty, which limits your score. To improve, focus on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and pluralisation. Proofreading for these recurring errors would significantly enhance the clarity and professional tone of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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