Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
THERE IS AN ON GOIND DEBAT REGARDING SOME EMPLYOYERS ASK JOB APPLICANTS ABOUT THEIR PERSONAL INFORMATION,SUCH AS HOBBIES, INTERESTS, AND MARITAL STATUS ETC. SOME BELIEVES THAT MAY BE ITS IMPORTANT WHILE ANOTHER GROUP OF THINKERS DO NOT AGREE WITH THAT. THIS ESSAY WILL GIVE A DETAILED ANALYSIS ON BOTH THE OPINIONS, WHICH WILL BE SUPPORTED WITH RELEVANT ARGUMENTS AND EXAMPLES.
EXPLAINING THE FORMER OPINION, THE PRIMARY ARGUMENT THE SUPPOERTER PUT FORWARD IS THAT PERSONAL INFROMATION ABOUT THE APPLICANT WILL HELP THEM TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THEIR PERSONALITY AND THEIR INTEREST IN PARTICULAR THING.MOREOVER HOBBIES CAN SHOW SOMEONES PERSONALITY AND CHARACTER.FOR EXAMPLE A PERSON IS PLAYING A TEAM SPORT WHICH SHOWS HIS TEAMWORK , COOPERATION, UNITY AND HOW HE UNDERSTANDS AND LISTENS TO OTHERS WHICH IS A VERY CRUCIAL PART IN JOB. ALSO APART FROM THAT A PERSON IS INTERESTED IN READING OR LEARNING MAY SHOW CURIOSITY AND WILLINGNESS TO LEARN.
ON THE CONTRARY, THE LATTER VIEW SUGGESTS THAT IT DOES NOT PLAY IMPOERTANT ROLE DURING A JOB APPLICATION. AS ACCORDING TO THEM HOBBIES DON'T NECESSARILY SHOWS PROFESSIONAL ABILITY. IN ADDITION TO THAT ABOUT THEIR MARITAL STATUS EMPLOYERS MIGHT MAKE ASSUMPATIONS BASED ON PERSONAL INFORMATION .FOR EXAMPLE THE MARRIED PERSON HAS HAS RESPONSIBILITES AND THEREFORE THEY ARE LESS FLEXIBLE. ALSO PERSONAL INFORMATION CAN CAUSE DISCRIMINATION AND SOME APPLICANT DO NOT FEEL COMFORTABLE IN THAT.
IN CONCLUSION, WHILE THER ARE CONVINCING ARGUMENTS ON BOTH THE SIDES OF THE DEBATE, I BELIEVE PROFESSIONAL QUALIFICATIONS SHOULD COME FIRST AND PRIVATE INFORMATION SHOULD GENERALLY BE AVOIDED.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of teamwork in sports and the potential for discrimination regarding marital status. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. The essay would benefit from more depth in the explanation of why personal information is or is not relevant to professional capability. While the task is fully addressed, the supporting arguments are relatively brief, which prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The position is consistent throughout the text.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Moreover', 'On the contrary', and 'In addition to that', which help guide the reader through the arguments. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and spacing throughout the text, such as missing spaces after commas and periods, which slightly disrupts the flow of the writing. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the overall structure could be more sophisticated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'ON GOIND', 'DEBAT', 'EMPLYOYERS', 'INFROMATION', 'SUPPOERTER', 'IMPOERTANT', 'ASSUMPATIONS') which are distracting and indicate a lack of control over basic spelling. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'professional ability' and 'discrimination', the overall lexical range is limited. The errors do not completely impede communication, but they are frequent enough to lower the score significantly. More variety in word choice and careful proofreading are required.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some believes', 'hobbies don't necessarily shows') and article usage. Punctuation is also problematic, with many missing spaces after punctuation marks and inconsistent capitalization. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and punctuation limits the score. To improve, the student should focus on sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and standardizing punctuation and capitalization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.