Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In my opinion, although some employers may ask about personal information such as marital status which maybe useful but also irrelevant related to individuals ability to perform or work.

However, employers should ask details about persons abilities to work or perform in their office setting, and analyze the capabilities of individuals.

some people may think providing these random details maybe useful for employers but in my perspective its not useful enough to reciprocate with the individual because this in not helpful in analyzing the person or his capabilities, performance or knowledge.

I want to add my own example on this scenario, recently I applied for a job in healthcare setting, basically that position was for patient coordinator. where you need to have details and coordinate with patients and also employees who are working under you. So i got the call for interview and first thing my interviewer asked me is if I am single or married. I felt that question was irrelevant for the interview and for the further communication. However, I still responded to all questions they have asked. Furthermore, providing these details about our personal lives cannot define about your capabilities and your mindset. Another point is that, I believe these information about your personal life sometimes reflect negatively on your job profile, because we don't really have an idea of what the employer is seeking or expecting to hear, in order to proceed further for the job application. However, sometimes providing small details about your hobbies and interest can results in a positive aspect, but providing too many personal details are honestly irrelevant for me.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue and providing a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide a personal example regarding a healthcare job interview, the discussion of why some might find personal information useful is underdeveloped. The essay lacks a clear structure, with the introduction and body paragraphs blending together, which makes it difficult to follow your argument. To improve, ensure you clearly separate the two opposing views and your own opinion into distinct, well-developed paragraphs. The conclusion is also missing, which is necessary to summarize your position effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks clear paragraphing, which is a fundamental requirement for a Band 6 or higher. The ideas are presented in a single block of text, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. While you use some cohesive devices like 'However', 'Furthermore', and 'Another point is that', their usage is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. The logical flow is hindered by the lack of clear topic sentences and a structured introduction and conclusion. To improve, organize your essay into four distinct paragraphs: introduction, view 1, view 2, and conclusion.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some relevant topic-specific vocabulary such as 'job profile', 'capabilities', and 'healthcare setting'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'reciprocate with the individual' and 'define about your capabilities'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and you rely on basic phrasing. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'useful' or 'details'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'maybe useful but also irrelevant related to individuals ability' (missing possessive apostrophe and awkward phrasing) and 'these information' (subject-verb agreement error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately.

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