Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

According to the current scenario, it is irrefutable to say that asking personal questions while interviewing a person play an inevitable role not only for the company but also for an employee. Although few people reckon that it is not related to the job. By and large I would like to contradict the above rendered perspective. My Inclination to back up my stance would be discussed in the consequent paragraphs.

In this paragraph, I will throw light on constructive facet of the notion of asking personal details will beneficial to the person only. By this i would like say that, If an employer has all the details of an employee , they will try to schedule them according to their comfort. It will be better interpreted by an example. In TCS has one rule that If an employee is a married, they will give him Day shift only. Another mainspring is, it will boost quality of the work. To illustrate, If A team leader put two mates in a same group according to their interest, they will do the work with a same interest. Not only work quality will improve but it will also create positive work environment.

Moreover, we can avoid small disputes by having same nature people in a group.

On the other hand, there are few disadvantages of sharing too much details with a company. The mainspring is that there is a chance of misusing personal information. By this i mean to say that, sometimes an employee get judged by others because of having particular hobby .For instance, Rohan likes to dance. But some males think that it is a girl's hobby.

To consummate, with a reference of everything we discussed in the above mentioned paragraphs, I pen down saying that, If personal details kept in safe place, there is no harm in sharing information to a company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the example regarding 'TCS' and shift scheduling is specific but lacks a broader explanation of why this outweighs privacy concerns. The argument regarding 'hobbies' is also slightly underdeveloped, as it focuses on a narrow social scenario rather than the professional implications of such data collection. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with logical reasoning that directly relates to the employer-employee dynamic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is occasionally hindered by awkward transitions and phrasing. Phrases like 'In this paragraph, I will throw light on...' are overly mechanical and detract from the natural flow of the argument. While cohesive devices are present, they are sometimes used incorrectly or repetitively (e.g., 'The mainspring is...'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the connection between sentences could be smoother to ensure a more cohesive argument throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and natural collocation. There are several instances of misused or non-standard phrasing, such as 'constructive facet of the notion', 'mainspring' (used incorrectly as a synonym for 'reason'), and 'consummate' (used incorrectly for 'conclude'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but the frequent reliance on awkward or unnatural word choices prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on learning collocations and standard academic phrases would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('asking personal questions... play an inevitable role'), article usage ('in a same group'), and awkward sentence construction ('If personal details kept in safe place'). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are persistent and occur throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb forms and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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