Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporary era, the hiring process of employee has been significantly changed since the Artificial Intelligence introduced. However, when the jobseekers are interviewed, they are being questioned about their personal life: hobbies, marital status or interests. Therefore, it is believed by some that it is handy while others oppose. Both the sides will be elucidated in the eusing paragraphs alongside suitable examples.

To commence, the major reason behind employee is asked for personal life is employer can get overview of the routine behaviour of someone. For example, warehouse manager knows about one's fitness level by asking whether they do exercise and consuming healthy food daily or not. Apart from this, workers hobbies should relate to worker roles and responsibilities which provides rough idea how much they will be involved and focused to their job. Moreover, individuals can be judged by their marital status about their availability in a week at work.

On the other hand, one cannot be understood by his personal habits especially when it is regarding work. It is highly recommended to employment sector to consider the skillset, dedication, knowledge, capability, adaption, and punctuality of employee towards work while they are being invited for formal interview. For instance, a Police officer, has been enrolled by assessing their skillset irrespective their daily routine. As once the job initiates the working environment has been adapted by most of the employees.

In conclusion, even though someone's hobbies or interests allow employers to obtain some sort of idea about them. In my opinion, one can be hired only basis of his or her skillset will acquire more sense of security to employer.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the issue and providing a clear personal opinion in the conclusion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of fitness for warehouse roles or the focus on skillsets for police officers. However, some arguments are slightly under-developed; for instance, the link between marital status and work availability is asserted but not fully explained. The position is consistent throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more detailed reasoning or illustrative examples to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence', 'Apart from this', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the awkward phrasing in the introduction ('the eusing paragraphs'). Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices more naturally to connect sentences and ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'jobseekers', 'hiring process', and 'skillset'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'the hiring process of employee has been significantly changed' (should be 'employees') and 'it is handy' (which is too informal for this context). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'the major reason behind employee is asked'. Increasing the range of precise, academic vocabulary would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the Artificial Intelligence', 'the employment sector'), verb forms ('employee is asked', 'has been enrolled'), and prepositions. Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'one can be hired only basis of his or her skillset will acquire more sense of security'. These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles in formal writing.

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