Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Here I would like to share my views for personal information like people agree and some do not.
Moreover if we see some people like to share there personal information because they like to show others that what are they interested and may be listing to this kind of people they might follow there kind of hobbies, and one way, if we think sharing personal things is good sign for others who does not have any hobbies or interests. They will then start taking interest in sports, reading book, playing games and so on. Apparently some kinds of hobbies will get into there the mind like playing football, cricket and rugby. In some cases some of them even like to share about marriage life. Like they have beautiful children and a great husband. Talking about marriage life is they feel good that they have smooth life going on. And some are single they like to lonely because they have there on life and they can do what ever they feel like they do not have any restriction or any one to stop them for doing any thing.
Some disagree because they believe its not a good thing to share personal information, reason they feel giving this kind of information may cause some problem in there personal life and can lead to some further issues.
well before i stop writing i would like to share my opinion. In today world there are different mind of people whom we can not judge so as per my point of view we should not share all our personal information only basic not all.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing an opinion. However, the development is limited. The arguments regarding hobbies and marital status are somewhat superficial and lack clear links to the context of job applications. The opinion is provided at the end but is not well-integrated into the essay structure. To improve, you should ensure each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct argument related to the workplace, providing specific examples of why an employer might or might not need such information. The current ideas are a bit repetitive and lack the depth required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. Paragraphing is minimal, and the transition between ideas is often abrupt or missing. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'In some cases', these are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The logical progression of ideas is difficult to follow because the sentences do not flow smoothly into one another. To improve, use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that each idea follows logically from the previous one, using a wider variety of linking words to connect your arguments effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits the ability to express complex ideas. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'listing to this kind of people' (likely meaning 'listening') and 'there on life' (likely meaning 'their own life'). The range of vocabulary is narrow, relying on simple, everyday words. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific vocabulary related to employment, privacy, and professional boundaries. Avoid informal phrasing and work on using more precise terms to convey your meaning accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, incorrect pronoun usage (e.g., 'there' instead of 'their'), and sentence fragments. The range of sentence structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. There is a lack of complex structures, and punctuation is often misused or absent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically the correct use of articles, pronouns, and verb tenses. Proofreading for common errors like 'there/their' will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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