Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Whenever employees are applying for jobs, they are often asked with many questions such as their personal details,educational qualifications and their job experiences

Additionally, they are also some questions thrown to them about their hobbies and their marital life

For some employers I believe that it is necessary for them to know their employees hobbies and interests like for example if a group of employees they hired are well trained cricket players

The company could organise a sports event like conducting a cricket tournament among the employees in the company which could boost the employees physicality and their mentality which in turn would be boosting their needs to be in the company for a prolonged time

It could make the employees satisfied that the company that they are working for understands their interests and aren’t fully focused on the deadline of their work.

Also knowing their marital life is very important so that the employer can cater the salary structure to the employee’s needs

For example if a person has a wife and a couple of children and if he is the only breadwinner

He must need a decent pay to support his family so here it proves that the employer must know his family background

At the same time it also feels irrelevant that the employers put their nose too much on the employee’s interests and their family background

For instances we can’t judge a book by its cover since all the employers will not be the same

Some might ask questions and indulge too much on the employee’s personal life

There are real life problems where the employer had external affair with the employee’s spouse

So in my opinion I have a mixed reviews on this topic

And in my life I had a positive response to this

Since I am a football player I thought I would be missing out playing football after joining a job

But to my surprise i would that the company that I worked for organised sports and cultural event yearly and also they had been conducting football matches for the employees annually.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The point regarding marital status and salary structure is a bit illogical, as salary is typically based on market value and job role rather than family size. The personal anecdote is relevant, but the argument regarding employers having affairs with spouses is extreme and detracts from the professional tone required for an IELTS essay. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments could be more balanced and professional to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the structure is fragmented. Many paragraphs consist of only one or two sentences, which disrupts the flow of the argument. There is a lack of sophisticated cohesive devices; the transition between ideas is often mechanical or relies on simple conjunctions like 'Also' or 'So'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly when moving from the benefits of knowing hobbies to the risks of personal intrusion. Improved paragraphing and a wider range of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range expected at higher levels. There are some awkward collocations and phrasing, such as 'questions thrown to them' and 'put their nose too much'. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'marital life' and 'educational qualifications', the overall range is limited. The tone is occasionally too informal, which impacts the lexical quality. To improve, the student should focus on using more academic collocations and avoiding colloquial expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include incorrect preposition usage ('asked with many questions'), subject-verb agreement errors ('there are some questions'), and punctuation lapses. Some sentences are run-on or lack necessary articles. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The student should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed correctly.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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