Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Sometimes companies ask individuals seeking a position for private details, for instance their routine and preferences, and whether they are couple and unmarried. Few individuals say that this data may be related and beneficial. Others disagree.

Firstly,In this essay I will discuss both views that their personal information are relevant or not for this company and I will draw a conclusion as well. I partially believe that some private details are important for company because they get to know about their preferences and skills. They know which task is suitable for them. For example If they mentioned their hobby are using computer than this skill is useful for our company. Hobbies and interests can help employers understand an applicant’s personality and suitability for the workplace. Although, knowing candidates interests may help employers choose people who can work well with existing teams.

Secondly,While some people thinks that this information is not relatable for company. They believe that this private data about them is not useful for our company. Employers may collect unnecessary personal informations. Furthermore, candidates maybe judged based on their marital status,age, gender. Moreover, employers may focus on their private details rather than qualifications and skills. Additionally employers opinions may influence their hiring decisions.

In conclusion, while private data is related to company but I strongly believe that everyone have their privacy and asking for personal information can lead to discrimination and unfair hiring decisions. I hope companies should change their rules and asking their qualifications and skills rather than personal details.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding hobbies is brief and relies on a single, simple example. The discussion on the disadvantages is more comprehensive but remains somewhat repetitive. To reach a higher band, you should aim to expand on your points with more detailed explanations or broader implications. The introduction is a bit mechanical, and the conclusion could be more effectively linked to the main body paragraphs to ensure a more cohesive argument throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'Firstly,In this essay...'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the logical progression of your ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You use basic terms like 'private details', 'useful', and 'good'. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'whether they are couple and unmarried' (should be 'married or single') and 'information are' (should be 'information is'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'professional qualifications', 'discriminatory practices', or 'relevant experience', and pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'some people thinks' (should be 'think'), 'personal informations' (information is uncountable), and 'asking their qualifications' (should be 'asking about'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and correct preposition usage will help you achieve greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.