Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, almost everyone is applying for jobs and give their all personal information, some people do not even think over it and some do not like to share their personal information, we will discuss this in this essay.
People think this useful because personal information is describe their ability towards work also some people think giving information such as hobbies and interests even marital status is not like that we can not share. People do not even think over it.
People think giving personal information is not relevant, applying for jobs its all about to work not to have relation, so why they have to share their personal information.
In my opinion giving personal information to the employers is making a good bond between employ and employers. also marital status and hobbies is not to hide. Therefore, there is nothing irrelevant.
My reasons is for giving personal is useful because its give idea that how you will work with employer.
Example, recently I have seen one of my friend did not add his family member now he has to get treatment for them, then he had to add his wife to take
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you attempt to address both sides of the argument and provide a personal opinion, the ideas are underdeveloped and lack sufficient explanation or relevant examples. The example provided regarding a friend and family medical treatment is incomplete and does not clearly illustrate how personal information relates to job applications. To improve, you must expand on your arguments with clear, logical reasoning and ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully explored within the required length.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. While there are paragraph breaks, the progression of ideas is disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is minimal and often mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'People think' to start sentences. There is a lack of logical flow between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'conversely', 'consequently') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that connects back to the main argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is basic and repetitive, which limits your ability to express complex ideas. Phrases like 'give their all personal information' and 'making a good bond' are imprecise and unnatural. There is limited evidence of less common lexical items or an awareness of collocation. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more precise terminology related to the workplace and professional conduct, and avoid repeating the same words throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'personal information is describe'), sentence fragments, and incorrect word order. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. To improve, you need to practice using a mix of complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses and conditional sentences, while paying closer attention to basic verb tenses and pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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