Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
These days ,some of the organizations started asking for the private information related to hobbies and likes or even about their status. A few group of individuals think that it is beneficial but others are not agree with this statement. In my opinion,I am with the later viewpoint.
On the one hand,Companies want this information regarding hobbies and their likes,dislikes because they don’t have that environment which people likes nowadays such as facilities,canteens, restaurants and free time for get together at work. Another viewpoint is that, the marital status is also important to know about because some jobs has potential requirements like overtime work hours and more work load that hard for a family person to tackle because of family responsibilities.
On the other hand, according to my perspective, organizations do not have a right to know about privacy before hiring someone. Firstly, companies should have to hire individuals by looking at their profile such as education,skills and experience related to Job posting rather than checking other forms of information. Secondly, companies should need to focus on their services in order to serve people better instead of checking for employee background. Person's abilities like performance and personality and qualities such as team- work and leadership should be evaluated.Finally,Due to the crime rate nowadays,the clean record of the person is more impressive than status or hobbies.For example,Organization can’t improve the facilities for every person at work ,so that information can not be a useful for industry as well as employees.
In conclusion, Although there are some points in the favour of organizations shows interest in personal life these days but in my viewpoint that are not the matter of negotiable with employees.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The explanation for why companies might want personal information is a bit vague, and the argument against it could be more logically structured. For instance, the transition to discussing 'crime rates' and 'clean records' feels slightly disconnected from the main point about privacy. While the position is clear throughout, the supporting arguments would benefit from more depth and specific examples to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Firstly,' but they are sometimes used in a mechanical way. There are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between marital status and work hours could be more smoothly articulated. Referencing is generally clear, but the overall structure could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'marital status,' 'job posting,' and 'professional profile.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'not be a useful for industry' and 'matter of negotiable.' The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and the student relies on basic phrasing at times. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, including issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some jobs has,' 'organizations do not have a right'), article usage, and punctuation. Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'Although there are some points in the favour of organizations shows interest.' These errors are noticeable but do not typically impede communication. To reach a higher band, the student needs to demonstrate better control over complex structures and reduce the frequency of basic grammatical slips.
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