Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Jobs plays very vital role in todays world as doing job is a part of life without it people cannot survive as fullfill their basic needs by earning money.

Therefore, employers fewtimes ask dwellers to applying for work for personal knowledge, like as their hobbies and interests, as well as they are single or married. Few people say that this knowledge may be good to share and useful. I strongly agree and disagree with this point.

On the one hand, sharing information about their interest and hobbies can help to give task according to their interest as doing work with more easier and helping others to do that work on time .

Moreover, doing work according to hobbies facilitate employees to do task in good manner and take more interest and higher the companies reputation and value to grow more and more in future.

On the other hand, sharing personal life may not be good Idea as because other people can impact in bad way or harmful in their life as privacy also plays important role in everyone life as employee get distract from their work and doing only that work in which they take interest more and more other work will be effected as not doing work on time and distract from companies goal. For example, One of my friend work in nestle company he only wants to do work that in which he take interest as work on computer for other work such as packaging and check quality of food he take as a stress or burden on him.

To be conclude, I think that both of ways are better but company should have to manage the employee privacy do not share with anyone except company administration and doing work with time management so companies should ask employees they want to share their information or not it totally depends on employee not employers to ask people for shar information with company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, though the position is somewhat contradictory in the introduction ('I strongly agree and disagree'). The ideas are relevant but lack depth; for instance, the argument regarding privacy is mentioned but not fully explored in a professional context. The conclusion attempts to offer a balanced view but introduces new ideas about 'time management' that were not previously discussed. To improve, ensure your position is consistent throughout and provide more specific, well-developed examples rather than relying on general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To be conclude' and 'as because'. The logical progression between sentences is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, making it difficult to follow the flow of arguments. Referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the example about the friend at Nestle, which lacks a smooth transition from the previous point. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors and non-standard collocations, such as 'fewtimes', 'dwellers' (used incorrectly for job applicants), and 'doing work with more easier'. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent a higher score. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning more academic collocations and synonyms for common words like 'good', 'bad', and 'work'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('Jobs plays', 'employee get distract'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, which impacts readability. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. For example, 'as because other people can impact in bad way' is grammatically incorrect. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.

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