Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
It has always been debatable whether it is useful to collect personal information of job applicants or it is just an irrelevant thing. Some people believe this information is significantly important while others criticize this and think it is an inappropriate approach to collect such personal data. I completely disagree with the concept of collecting personal details and interests of applicants.
To commence with, recruiters often collect personal information about their employees such as their interests, hobbies, and marital status. By collecting such information, they can offer them relevant positions which could matches their interests, so they can enjoy doing that work. As it is always noticed that individuals perform better on a job position which are related to their area of interest. For instance, if someone like to interact with people, he may prefer working in customer services. Similarly, by asking marital status, interviewers can estimate the availability and commitments of the job seekers, because most of married candidates does not prefer to travel for work and also avoid working overtime.
On the other hand, hobbies and personal interests does not reflect the actual personality and skill set of an individual. Individuals who are good with technology such as computer hardware or software might have a hobby of reading novels. So, this clearly justifyies that employers should hire individuals considering their technical knowledge and practical experience rather than focusing on their personal life and area of interests.
From my viewpoint, while hiring a candidate, their job experience and qualifications matter much more than their hobbies and interests. For instance, nowadays, individuals choose completely different hobbies to relax and disconnects themselves from their daily life stress.
To sum up, employer often wants to collect personal information, so they can designate their employees a related position to get their maximum potential. Whereas, I believe this is an irrelevant approach, employers should focus on their experience and qualifications.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of job-person fit and the irrelevance of personal hobbies to technical skills. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding marital status is a bit simplistic and could have been expanded with more nuance. The position is consistent throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more depth rather than relying on brief examples.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'On the other hand', and 'From my viewpoint' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as the use of 'this' to refer to broad concepts, which occasionally lacks a clear antecedent. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'designate' and 'irrelevant approach'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'collect personal information of' (should be 'collect personal information about') and 'justifyies' (spelling error). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the sophistication and precision required for higher bands. Focusing on more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing would improve this score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'someone like to', 'hobbies and personal interests does not', 'most of married candidates does not'). There are also minor punctuation and tense issues, such as 'disconnects themselves' instead of 'disconnect themselves'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent the essay from reaching the 7.0 band for grammar. More careful proofreading for basic agreement rules would be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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