Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this era , most of the companies suggest their employees to write their personal details in resume section about their likes or preferences and even marital status. Many believe that such information is essential and beneficial while applying for a job whereas others against of this opinion. Therefore, this essay will articulate both sides with their perspectives in forthcoming paragraphs.

Commencing with the reasons that which it is significant to provide relevant personal details to workplace. First and foremost, by mentioning the hobbies and interests to CVV would helpful for particular organization to understand you more and give access to ecofriendly atmosphere to perform. In simple words, arranging a suitable environment for company's worker is essential for understanding performances to both organization as well as job seeker. Candidates can work effectively with any distraction and any target.

On the other hand, give access of someone's detail to an unknown employers may be dangerous up to some extent. In this cyber crime society , it is not secure to provide personal information because there are many fake job sites which always show job vacancies and for them , person have to fulfill their interests and other necessary info. Moreover, at the end, that websites initiate to take advantages to fill your information on various anti social media platforms.

In the inference, i would recommend that giving details to a successful or reputative company is safe or may be added after selecting for a interview . It is helpful for producing a favorable environment for job without taking care of judgement

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, meeting the basic requirements of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'ecofriendly atmosphere' is vague and does not clearly explain how hobbies contribute to a better work environment. Similarly, the point about cybercrime is relevant but lacks specific examples or a deeper explanation of how this relates to the job application process. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments would benefit from more depth and logical expansion to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Commencing with', 'On the other hand', and 'In the inference', though some of these transitions feel slightly mechanical or non-standard (e.g., 'In the inference' should be 'In conclusion'). The progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, but the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the pronoun usage in the second paragraph. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the flow between sentences could be smoother.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'ecofriendly atmosphere' to describe a workplace, and 'reputative' instead of 'reputable'. The phrase 'anti social media platforms' is also used incorrectly in this context. While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there are noticeable errors in word choice that prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with article usage ('the' missing before 'workplace'), subject-verb agreement ('that websites initiate'), and prepositional errors ('against of this opinion'). Some sentences are poorly constructed, such as 'by mentioning the hobbies and interests to CVV would helpful'. These errors are frequent and occasionally require the reader to re-read to understand the intended meaning, though they do not completely impede communication.

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