Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that seeking personal information by the employer while applying for jobs plays a significant role while others believe that it is irrelevant and unrelated to the job.This essay will discuss both perspectives and I firmly disagree that if personal information is relevant for the employer to decide about employment.

To begin with, the personal life of the employee shows some effects on the job. When one is having a family, they often have family commitments for which they have to take day off and spend time with them. With such information, it can make the employer be prepared to take required actions if any such situation occurs in the future.

However, a married or a family person probably has personal responsibilities, but it is not justified to say that he would not do his job in an appropriate way. It is a fact that best worker has to be considered on the basis of their abilities and skills instead of their personal life. One who are committed towards their goals and achievements, their other family responsibilities would never effect negative their official performance. Elon musk is one of the best example from business leaders who gave AI to world while fulfilling his family responsibilities as well.

To conclude, it is true that due to personal circumstances workers might give some trouble to the employers. Although, I strongly disagree that family members would not perform to their best where there are lot of examples that married people give their best. Employees perform on the basis of their talents and capabilities rather than according to their personal lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that personal information might help employers prepare for potential absences, this point is not fully extended. Similarly, the counter-argument regarding skills versus personal life is a strong point, but the example of Elon Musk is slightly tangential, as his success is not necessarily a direct result of his marital status. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained with more depth and logical connection to the prompt's core issue of privacy versus professional relevance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with', 'However', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as the transition 'Although, I strongly disagree' at the start of a sentence. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally will help improve the overall coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'commitments' and 'capabilities'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'effect negative their official performance' (should be 'negatively affect') and 'best worker has to be considered' (should be 'the best workers should be considered'). To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and refining your word forms to ensure they fit the grammatical context of your sentences.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'One who are committed' (subject-verb agreement) and 'I firmly disagree that if personal information is relevant' (incorrect clause structure). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors with comma usage and sentence boundaries. The errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of subordinate clauses will significantly improve your accuracy.

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