Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information such as their hobbies and interests and whether they are married or single some people say that this information may be relevant and useful others though that it's not useful in my opinion on one hand , The information about employees very useful for company if company knows about employees background they can adjust their schedules according to employees for example some people can't leave their house at late night so in this situation if company have information about employees they can change their schedules in another form some people can not work at day due to some problem like children's book or family if company knows their all information so they can manage with the schedule of employees
On one hand I think the information about employees is not useful for company I think they just need to know about their actives that related job they can't need to know about their personal information I hope employee should they are active they cannot lazy if they are lazy in this situation for example some employee is very fast and active they can take over their work on time they are do work at this point company don't needs to know about their personal information
But jn my opinion company needs to know about all information of employees like activities, background,passion, hobbies, previous jobs and also about family because if employee is any unknown person they can damage the Basie of companies may be they have any relationship with anemy
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both sides and providing an opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. The arguments regarding why companies need personal information are somewhat illogical, such as the claim that knowing about family helps with scheduling or that an employee might be an 'enemy' damaging the company. The position is stated but lacks the depth and clarity required for a higher band. The ideas are often under-developed, and the reasoning is frequently unclear or based on questionable assumptions, which hinders the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks clear paragraphing and logical progression. While there are attempts to use transition phrases like 'On one hand' and 'But in my opinion', they are used incorrectly or inconsistently. The lack of punctuation, particularly the absence of full stops and the misuse of commas, makes it difficult to follow the flow of ideas. The referencing is often unclear, and the text feels like a series of loosely connected sentences rather than a structured argument. The overall arrangement is mechanical and lacks the necessary cohesive devices to link ideas effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'useful', 'information', and 'company'. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'actives' instead of 'activities', 'anemy' instead of 'enemy', and 'Basie' instead of 'basis'. The range is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. The student struggles to use less common lexical items, and the errors in spelling and word formation are frequent enough to occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay suffers from significant grammatical issues, including a complete lack of sentence boundaries (run-on sentences). There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, article usage, and tense consistency. For example, 'company don't needs to know' and 'they can't need to know'. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is largely absent, which is a major weakness. The majority of sentences contain errors, and the lack of control over basic grammar significantly impacts the clarity of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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