Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Most of the multinational companies now a days make a questionary for the people applying for job in their company. The questionary includes their personal information, such as what they like to do in their free time, what are they interested in, what is their marital status, and so on. The question is why the company needs all these information.
Some people think it is good that big companies have such questionary to know about people interest. Basically, this way they collecting data in huge number which may help them know about majority of people in our society. Furthermore, if they want to make any new policy such type of data help them in making new policy. Complying the data and generating the results is also easy now with the help of AI.
In contrast, other people disagree with this. They think why the company needs such personal information about the person who is just applying for the job. The interviewee is not sure whether he or she get the job or not, then why they give their personal information to the company which they are uncertain about. Moreover, in the era of modern technology or AI anybody can steal your personal information and use against you. Without getting a job how an interviewee can trust the company with their personal information.
However, in my opinion it is bit risky to give all your personal information to some company where you do not work. It is quite possible some fake company set up fake interview and collect all your information and later blackmail you. Nobody knows someone's true intentions. I feel it is a good idea to collect personal information but only when company hire the employ not from the interviewee. In this way employ will not be afraid of sharing their personal information.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding companies using data for policy-making is a bit vague and lacks specific examples. The discussion on privacy risks is more developed, but the suggestion that companies should only collect data after hiring is a simplistic solution to a complex issue. To reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples to support your arguments, rather than relying on general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'However' to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as in the phrase 'such type of data'. The transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better highlight the contrast between the two viewpoints. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear, but the range of cohesive devices could be more varied and sophisticated.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on repetitive phrasing, such as 'personal information' and 'questionary' (which is an incorrect term; 'questionnaire' is the correct spelling). There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'collecting data in huge number' instead of 'collecting large amounts of data'. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment, data privacy, and corporate practices, and ensure you use words in their correct context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('what are they interested in' instead of 'what they are interested in'), missing articles ('the company needs all these information' should be 'this information'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of complex sentence structures will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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