Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People have different opinions about requiring personal informations like gender and married or single during job applications.While some argue that informations help employers.In my view, I am totally believing that personal informations are must required.

First and foremost, data like gender, skills and mastery are useful sources for hiring team where they can filter resumes and cover letters according to workplace or companies requirements. According to social media company Meta requested during their mass hiring time to applicants to add age in their resume because they were looking for young workers and by this step they saved a lot of time and money.

Secondly, some tasks or work stations are requires specific gender or need to check family members just because to fulfil the requirements of work like physically demanding or have to frequently move cities or countries for work. For these reasons if employer knows in advance about these details he or she can chose accordingly candidates. For instance, mining companies prefer more employees who are male, young, physically fit and single because they have to work in risky areas and people who are single they often take this kind of jobs.

On the other hand, someone might use personal informations in wrong way.To elaborate more few mangers or employers filter resumes by asking informations like colour, religion and nationality which is irrelevant and racism for others students or most qualified experience job hunters who are perfect for the particualar jobs and lose the big opportunities.

In conclusion, there are few disadvantages like racism happens during hiring time by adding more and more personal identifications but there are more numbers of benefits for adding more details about person according to job requirements which can reduce hiring time, cost of companies and right candidates which eligible most for specific job.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat inconsistent. While the argument for efficiency is supported by an example, the discussion on the disadvantages is less nuanced and relies on generalizations. The term 'personal informations' is used repeatedly, which is grammatically incorrect (information is uncountable), and the argument regarding 'racism' is a bit underdeveloped. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that your supporting points are fully explored and that you avoid over-generalizing about hiring practices. The position is clear throughout, but the depth of analysis could be improved to better meet the requirements of a Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions between ideas. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and repetitive sentence structures. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the conclusion where the connection between the points is slightly disjointed. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that your sentences flow more naturally into one another rather than feeling like a list of points.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are frequent errors in word choice and collocation. For example, 'informations' is used incorrectly as a plural noun, and 'must required' is non-standard. You also use 'particualar' (spelling error) and 'big opportunities' (too informal). While you attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'resumes', 'cover letters', and 'hiring time', the lack of precision and the persistent grammatical errors with nouns limit the score. To improve, focus on learning the correct usage of uncountable nouns and expanding your range of academic collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some tasks... are requires'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'I am totally believing'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of grammatical slips prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on proofreading for basic errors such as verb forms and pluralization to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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