Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Managers occasionally ask about the interests and hobbies their employees have while applying for jobs along with their marital status. Few people say that this information is useful whilst others disagree. I also believe in the latter statement.

Employers during taking interviews can casually ask for the personal information about their staff as it is a protocol to ask about the marital status. Some companies have benefits which are being offered to their spouses as well. For example, associates working in Walmart get discount cards and their spouses also have their individual discount cards. Thus, it is necessary to ask for some personal information which will benefit its own associates and their families as well.

While some organizations believe in keeping the personal information private. There are a lot of offices all across the world which do not ask about its staff's families and hobbies. Rather they believe in giving time and space to their respective families and friends. These types of companies believe that they should work only in their office hours and not everyday. This also gives time to the staff to pursue their other interests and ambitions as well. For instance, Amazon believes that they should work to their full potentials when they are in their offices. Once they are done, they should go and have fun outside.

In conclusion, even though there are certain rules and regulations companies have to follow for its employees benefit, but they can avoid asking questions related to its employees's personal life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you provide examples like Walmart and Amazon, the explanation of why marital status or hobbies are 'relevant' is thin. The conclusion is slightly contradictory; you state you agree with the view that this information is unnecessary, yet your second paragraph provides a strong justification for why it is useful. To improve, ensure your supporting arguments are more thoroughly explored and that your position remains consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For example,' 'Thus,' and 'In conclusion,' which help the flow. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical or abrupt, such as the start of the third paragraph ('While some organizations believe...'). Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the use of 'its' and 'employees's' creates confusion regarding which group is being referred to. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall progression of your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'protocol,' 'respective,' and 'ambitions.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors, such as 'during taking interviews' (should be 'when conducting interviews') and 'employees's' (incorrect possessive form). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'work only in their office hours and not everyday.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your vocabulary choices are consistently accurate and appropriate for a formal essay context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. For example, 'benefits which are being offered' is wordy, and 'its employees benefit' lacks the correct possessive apostrophe. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and pronoun reference, such as 'its staff's families' (referring to a singular organization, but the plural 'their' would be more natural). While these errors do not prevent the meaning from being understood, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focus on proofreading for basic punctuation and agreement errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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