Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that it is not wrong to ask a person about their personal information in the job profile. However, others disagree with this statement. According to me, personal information like hobbies and interests of a person help the employers to recognize their holistic profile, but the marital status should be private. In this essay, I will discuss both point of views in the subsequent paragraphs and add my opinion at the last.

Proponents say that personal information of a person help the employers to know about job seekers in detail as they are good for this position or not. For example, if a person's background is in sports that means they have good teamwork, communication, discipline and time-management skills. Another is if a person do not like social gathering that means that person is introvert and cannot survive in team-work environment. Therefore, disclose these type hobbies helps recruiters to take better decision.

On the other side, individuals say that job interviews should be limited to a person qualification, education and experience instead of asking about irrelevant information. It opens the door for discrimination. Employers think married people are more surrounded by their personal life and cannot give much time to the professional life. So, they always left behind even they are more educated and experienced. As education is just the key who makes a person eligible for the job and money that they are earning gives a sense to work effectively at any workplace not hobbies. It means almost every people work for the money not because they love. So it is solely irrelevant to ask about their interest and hobbies.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits of hobbies are explained, the discussion on marital status is slightly underdeveloped and relies on generalizations about employer bias. The conclusion is missing, as the essay ends abruptly after the second body paragraph. To reach a higher band, you should ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully explored and provide a formal concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and restates your position clearly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'For example', 'On the other side', and 'Therefore'. However, the flow is occasionally hindered by mechanical transitions. For instance, the phrase 'Another is if a person do not like' is awkward and lacks a smooth connection to the previous sentence. Additionally, the lack of a final concluding paragraph makes the overall structure feel incomplete. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring a strong, cohesive conclusion would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'proponents', 'holistic profile', and 'discrimination'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'disclose these type hobbies' (should be 'disclosing these types of hobbies') and 'always left behind' (should be 'are often left behind'). Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'give a sense to work effectively'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your word forms are grammatically correct in context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt to use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'personal information... help' (should be 'helps') and 'if a person do not like' (should be 'does not like'). There are also errors with articles and pluralization, such as 'take better decision' (should be 'take a better decision') and 'every people' (should be 'everyone'). Increasing your control over basic grammatical rules while maintaining your use of complex structures will help you achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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