Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Sometimes when people apply for job employers asks applicants for personal information which some people might like and some might not! And that is completely fine as people have different opinions.

Let's start with the group of people who say that asking for personal information such as Hobbies, interests, and relationships are relevant and useful! If we think from an Employers point of view, it can be seen that if you share this information , the employer can get a brief idea whether you will do the job with interest or not, another thing they can figure out is that whether you will stay loyal to the company or not! And that might benefit you in future to get promotions.

Moving on, to the group who thinks that this information is not relevant and useful. This happens because people thinks it is like crossing a line, and they should not share the private information if they don't want to! and they are not wrong in a way but I personally feel like asking for hobbies and interest helps employers a lot to know about you and for you to get that job. For example, I was getting rejected to every job I apply and recently I got selected for an interview for a job, they asked me the necessary questions and there I shared some points about my hobby and today I have that job!

So, to conclude I will just say that this information is relevant and useful for employers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding why employers might want personal information (loyalty, interest) are somewhat superficial and lack depth. The counter-argument is also brief, and the personal example provided is anecdotal rather than analytical. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the implications of these practices—for instance, discussing the potential for bias or discrimination when personal information is requested, or the ethical boundaries of privacy in a professional context. The conclusion is also quite abrupt and does not summarize the main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'Moving on', 'Let's start with'). There are instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed, such as the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the punctuation—specifically the use of exclamation marks—is inappropriate for an academic or formal IELTS essay, which affects the overall professional tone and coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic, everyday language (e.g., 'get a brief idea', 'crossing a line', 'do the job'). There are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'getting rejected to every job I apply' (should be 'for every job I applied for'). To improve, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to employment, recruitment, and professional ethics, and avoid informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('employers asks', 'people thinks'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Punctuation is also a significant issue; the frequent use of exclamation marks is not suitable for this task type. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader and indicate a lack of control over more complex grammatical structures. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and consistent tense usage would be highly beneficial.

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