Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-22
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
my full name is ayan ahmad you call me by my first name ayan.i have worked in multiple companies as a employee. I have done a lot of projects successfully in my ten years of career. so I decided to move a different city because some personal reasons. and obviously my job is my passion life time. in this city every thing is new like people , houses , streets , everything. my favourite hobby is cricket , I enjoyed so much , because cricket is not just a game , cricket help me a lot in multiple things such as it help me in quardination with my team members , it help me in my dicision during play cricket and it gives me a lot of benefits. and I like reading books on different topics such as history related books stories related books etc. most of the time I read stories books mostly weekend. I am single at this time because I focused in my career at this time. according to my opinion most people disagreed about this information but I have agreed this information. and this information is useful. and I preety sure I have done my job very well in this new city.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response fails to address the task requirements. Instead of discussing the debate regarding personal information in job applications, you provided a personal introduction and a list of hobbies. The prompt asks for a balanced discussion of two views and your own opinion, which is entirely missing. Furthermore, the response is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which severely limits your ability to develop any relevant ideas. To improve, you must focus on the specific question asked, structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs for both sides of the argument, and a clear conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The text lacks logical organization and paragraphing. It is written as a single, disjointed block of text. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas; for example, the transition between your work experience and your hobbies is abrupt. The progression of ideas is unclear because the content does not follow the structure of an argumentative essay. To improve, you should use clear paragraph breaks and transition words like 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'consequently' to connect your thoughts logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very basic and repetitive. You rely on simple words like 'good,' 'new,' and 'things.' There are also issues with word choice and spelling, such as 'quardination' (coordination), 'dicision' (decision), and 'preety' (pretty). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or discuss the topic in an academic or professional manner. To improve, try to learn topic-specific vocabulary related to employment and privacy, and focus on accurate spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with sentence structure, such as run-on sentences and fragments. You also struggle with basic subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, for example, 'cricket help me' instead of 'cricket helps me' and 'I have agreed' instead of 'I agree.' Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many missing capital letters and incorrect spacing. You need to focus on mastering simple sentence structures before attempting more complex ones.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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