Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that when people are applying for jobs, they are often asked to give personal information. I believe that this fact reflects our current reality and requesting personal information can be useful to a certain extent.

On signification reason is that some employers rather work with someone that has good personality than someone that has all the experience needed for the role. This is because a lot of success of the companies can be attributed to their internal culture. As a result, companies achieve their goals by ensuring that the employees are happy in the workplace and enjoy working with their coworkers. For example, if a team shares almost the interests or hobbies, it is easier for them to get along. Therefore, employees feel motivated to work.

Another important consideration is that, work is part of our lives. In other words, we spend a lot of time working, so the least we could do is work for a place that is suitable for us and vice-versa. Consequently, some employees may be rejected because of their personal information. For instance, if the employee shares different beliefs than its employers, they may not be on the same page, so they may always have arguments. Thus, they won't be have a casual or friendly conversation, making their experience at workplace terrible.

On the other hand, some people believe that this information is not relevant and useful. If someone is going to work in a role that does not require collaboration, there is no need to request this information, as the person, will be working independently. All that matters is whether the employee is capable of fulfilling the responsibilities of the role or not.

In conclusion, this information should only be requested if it is relevant for the role. For this reason, I believe the recruiters should assess whether this information will influence or not in the hiring decision.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the importance of cultural fit and the distinction between collaborative and independent roles. However, some arguments are slightly under-developed; for instance, the point about 'beliefs' causing arguments could be more nuanced. The position is consistent throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the stance. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more specific examples or deeper analysis of the implications of collecting such personal data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand', 'For instance', and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions feel a bit repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, though the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas from the benefits of personal information to the counter-argument is logical and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'attributed to' and 'internal culture'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'On signification reason' (should be 'One significant reason') and 'shares almost the interests' (should be 'shares similar interests'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. Expanding the range of collocations and refining word forms would improve the score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'won't be have a casual' and 'influence or not in the hiring decision'. Subject-verb agreement and preposition usage are occasionally problematic. Despite these errors, the writer demonstrates an ability to construct complex sentences, and the mistakes rarely cause confusion for the reader. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical slips and ensuring more consistent control over complex sentence structures.

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