Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The scenario of hiring applicants has been changed rapidly in recent years. Due to this, Most companies often ask for personal information from employees along with the work experience. Now, this trend has become a pressing issue between two different perspectives, some say it is better way to know about a person more, while others find it most unnecessary information. I would discuss both views and my opinion why extra knowledge plays a vital role.

On the one hand, some individuals believe that asking for a personal details from people can leads to great results for the company along with the employees. To elaborate on this, When employers choose applicants on the behalf of their hobbies and interests, then staff members can perform well on their workplaces as these platforms provide a great chance to show their skills to improve the productivity of firm. Thus, most organizations look for multitalented people.

However, Others totally deny this idea by saying that it is only waste of time. In other words, companies motive should be simple and clear and should only post job vacancies which are related with job experience. For instance, there are some job- sectors such as health care centers and space filed where only years of experience matter. Therefore, this behavior should not be discussed at workplaces whether they are single or married.

In my opinion, I would say that personal information builds a strong relation between manager and employee which definitely will be win-win situation for both of them in the future. So, this way should be prevalent in almost every job sectors.

To conclude, although both views have different thoughts, the importance of having hobbies and interests should not be neglected as it sometimes lead to positive outcomes for the betterment of company.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'hobbies and interests' improving productivity is mentioned but not fully explained with concrete examples. The discussion on the opposing view is also quite brief, relying on general statements about 'health care centers' rather than exploring the privacy implications or the potential for bias, which are central to this debate. To reach a higher band, you should expand your supporting points with more detailed reasoning and specific illustrations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand', 'However', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph could be smoother. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where 'both views' is mentioned, but the summary does not fully synthesize the arguments presented earlier.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the message to be conveyed clearly. You use some relevant terms like 'multitalented', 'productivity', and 'job vacancies'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'job-sectors' (should be 'sectors') and 'space filed' (likely meant 'field'). The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on basic phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repetitive structures to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'asking for a personal details... can leads to' (subject-verb agreement error), 'on the behalf of' (incorrect prepositional phrase), and 'companies motive' (missing possessive apostrophe). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization after commas. While these errors do not prevent communication, they occur frequently enough to limit the score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.