Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that some employers prefer to ask the employees about their personal information including hobbies and interests during applying the job, while others considers this as irrelevant information for a job. In my opinion, although knowledge about the personal information is necessary, others important things contributes a lot to hire a new employee.

Those in favor of personal information, one of the significant reasons of getting knowledge about the personal hobbies and tastes of a employee while applying a job it to know about their personality. When any employee enter their personal information while applying a new job, then employer get and basic idea about that preferences and what type of personality he or she is. This knowledge further helps them to organize some mindset workshops for their employees based on their interest and hobbies, allowing the workers to get relaxation from their hectic schedule.

As per others, conversely, qualification standards and experience matters a lot to allocate a job to a job seeker. Some boss of the companies always seek those employees who have better education and relevant experience their previous life, assisting them to increase the productivity of their business on the based of their previous knowledge and innovative ideas. This approach helps them to hire a qualified and experienced worker, which may contribute to rise their economy standards.

In my opinion, some fundamental skills including, communication, cooperation, teamwork, and confidence level are also the considerable factors for applying a job. In this competitive and faced-pace environment, having these basic skills provide an innovative and skilled workers to the companies for their better future. As a result, these skills can be useful for them to run their businesses local or at international level.

To sum up, while by getting knowledge about personal information pf employees, employers can know about their personality and their life, some other important factors such as educational qualification, experience, and basic skills are required to find a all-rounder employee.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of personality assessment for the first view and professional qualifications for the second. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The explanation of why personal information helps with 'mindset workshops' is a bit tenuous and lacks depth. The conclusion introduces 'basic skills' as a third point, which was not explicitly requested, though it supports your overall argument. To improve, ensure each body paragraph focuses strictly on the prompt's requirements and provides more concrete examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'In my opinion,' 'Those in favor of,' 'Conversely,' and 'To sum up' to guide the reader. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'As per others' to introduce the opposing view, which is not standard academic phrasing. The transition between sentences could be smoother to create a more natural progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'productivity,' 'innovative,' and 'competitive.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'during applying the job' (should be 'when applying for a job'), 'get and basic idea' (should be 'get a basic idea'), and 'rise their economy standards' (should be 'increase their economic standards'). These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score as they show a lack of precision in using less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with prepositions and verb forms, such as 'contributes a lot to hire' (should be 'contributes to hiring'), 'on the based of' (should be 'on the basis of'), and 'pf employees' (typo). Subject-verb agreement is also inconsistent, for example, 'others considers' (should be 'others consider'). These errors are noticeable but rarely prevent the reader from understanding your meaning.

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