Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

While some argue that personal details of employees are irrelevant to the job they get interviewed for, however others think they are beneficial in the interview process. In my view, it is imperative for employers to know employees' background in order to in order to asign them in the field where their interests align with job profiles, which would mutually benefit both employers and employees.

On the one hand, supporters maintain it is crucial to know the candidates thoroughly while the interview. This is because they believe it is consequential for to know their likes and dislikes, hobbies amd interests to assign them to the departments where their interest align with the job duties. By doing this, both employers and employees mutually benefit. For example, if candidate interest is in arts, it is best to recruit them in creative department of a company intead of a marketing department. This proves how knowing additional personal details assist in the recuritment process.

On the other hand, critics argue that employers should ask information which is mandatory for the job only and it should not bother them if applicants are married or not, or what their hobbies are. As some applicants like to keep their personal and professional lives seperate, they do not feel comfortable to share such information. For example, for the job of a receptionist, being married or divorced has nothing to do with the job requirments.

In conclusion, although some demographics are not in favour of discussing such personal details during the recruitement process, I believe it provides vital information to the employers which will assist in better job allocation by employers and improves work productivity and employee job satisfaction.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the argument regarding job allocation based on interests versus the privacy concerns regarding marital status. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; the point about 'mutually benefiting' employers and employees is stated in the introduction and repeated in the first body paragraph. To reach a higher band, you should expand on the implications of these practices rather than restating the same benefit. The position is consistent throughout, but the depth of analysis could be improved by exploring the potential risks of bias in more detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, there is some mechanical repetition of phrases, such as 'mutually benefit both employers and employees', which appears twice. Additionally, some transitions could be more sophisticated to improve the flow between sentences. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication. You use some topic-specific terms like 'job profiles', 'recruitment process', and 'job requirements'. However, there are several spelling errors, such as 'asign' (assign), 'amd' (and), 'intead' (instead), 'recuritment' (recruitment), and 'seperate' (separate). These errors are noticeable but do not impede the reader's understanding. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate a slightly wider range of collocations to demonstrate more flexibility in your word choice.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as the redundant 'in order to in order to' in the introduction and the incorrect use of 'while the interview' instead of 'during the interview'. The sentence 'While some argue... however others think...' is grammatically incorrect because 'while' and 'however' should not be used together in this structure. While the meaning is generally clear, these frequent errors in sentence construction and punctuation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to subject-verb agreement and preposition usage is needed.

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