Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Yes, I agree with the statement that many organizations required from applicants to provide the personal data which includes; marital status, spending of extra time and their personal interests. This information would be helpful for employer to judge the employee loyalty and commitment.

Every entity has its own policies and requirements to get the employee personal data. By getting this information, company can identify the person character, personality and his/her intentions towards professional career. It may also be helpful to understand the people's creative skills and describe their mental approach towards any issue. For example, how an individual will react in harsh environment and how he/she responds to certain problem. Therefore, this hiring approach helps the employer to forecast the candidate capabilities.

As per other people perspective, hiring should be independent of the requirement of private details. It must be based on purely individual professional skills. Approach to select candidates should be practical instead of judgmental. Because sometime employer makes wrong assumptions based on the provided personal information which led him to disqualify from such position. His/Her skills that can provide great value to the company would be demolished.

Hence, I would summarize both views in my passage. Requiring such personal information should be a part of hiring process on those particular jobs where the environment or job nature is very challenging and employe must need to be mentally and physically sound. On the other hand, companies should avoid asking such specific information where there will be no impact on such jobs. They can sign contract what they want to find in the employe rather than through private information.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the argument regarding employee loyalty versus the risk of bias. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited; for instance, the explanation of how hobbies reveal 'mental approach' is a bit vague. The conclusion effectively synthesizes the views, though it could be more nuanced. Overall, the response is well-structured and fulfills the requirements of the task, though it would benefit from more detailed examples to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. There is a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Therefore', 'As per', and 'On the other hand', though some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is generally clear, although some sentences, such as 'His/Her skills that can provide great value to the company would be demolished', are slightly awkward in their connection to the previous sentence. Overall, the flow is sufficient to guide the reader through the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'forecast' and 'demolished', though 'demolished' is not the most natural collocation in this context. Some word choice errors occur, such as 'spending of extra time' instead of 'hobbies' or 'leisure activities'. While the range is sufficient to convey meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score. Spelling is generally accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'many organizations required from applicants' (should be 'require'), 'the employee personal data' (should be 'employees' personal data'), and 'employe must need' (should be 'employees must be'). Punctuation is occasionally misused, such as the semicolon after 'includes'. While these errors are noticeable, they do not significantly impede communication. To improve, the writer should focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles and possessive forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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