Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Recruiting is regarded as an important procedure when companies need employees to grow the profit. While some people believe that expecting employees to provide personal details during recruitment process by employers is beneficial, others disagree with this view. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that providing personal details during hiring should be considered relevant.

On the one hand, One of the primary reasons why some support employers who ask workers about personal information such as their interests and marital status is that it help them making recruiting process easier and effective. Since many employers ask potential employees about hobbies and interests, they can identify whether workers are able to work in fast pace or not. As a result, this information can contribute to making this procedure faster without wasting time. For instance, hobbies such as exploring new places can help employers who own a business in tour industry. Consequently, they can know about potential employees willingness and abilities.

On the other hand, critics argue that expecting people about sharing personal details while applying job is not decisive idea. They believe that sharing personal information such as family information can sometimes lead to conflicts and misunderstanding. Since some individuals are reluctant to reveal their marital status, they are more likely to feel insecure. Therefore, asking about hobbies and married status should be considered unnecessary by opponents.

In conclusion, although the demand for proving such personal details from employees by employers offers a few consequences, particularly in terms of feeling insecure and making people hesitate, I believe that it also allows employers to make recruitment process more effortless and check reliable information about employee's background.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the link between hobbies and industry-specific skills, and the potential for conflict regarding marital status. However, the development is somewhat limited; the argument for why personal details are 'relevant' remains a bit superficial. For instance, the claim that hobbies help identify if someone can work at a 'fast pace' is not fully explained or logically connected. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete, nuanced examples to support your claims rather than relying on general assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Consequently' are used to guide the reader. However, there are some mechanical issues with cohesion; for example, the phrase 'demand for proving such personal details' is slightly awkward, and some transitions feel a bit repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the link between the conclusion and the body paragraphs could be more seamless to improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'recruitment', 'marital status', and 'reluctant'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'grow the profit' (increase profits), 'decisive idea' (a good or valid idea), and 'proving such personal details' (providing). These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight a need for more precise usage of collocations. To improve, focus on learning how words naturally pair together in professional contexts rather than using literal translations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'it help them making' (it helps them make), 'expecting people about sharing' (expecting people to share), and 'applying job' (applying for a job). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding your argument. To achieve a higher band, you need to improve your control over verb forms, prepositions, and sentence construction, ensuring that complex structures are used with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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