Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that some companies ask people to provide their personal information, such as hobbies, interests and marriage statues, while applying certain types of positions. From my perspective, collecting such type of information from candidates is crucial for any organization to keep their records up to date.

On the one hand, one major benefit of collecting personal information from employees is that hiring managers can easily prepare interview's questions for these people. Therefore, companies would save their time, which could help them focus on other important tasks. For instance, a multinational company in London usually collect information from candidates to prepare appropirate interview's questions and answers to ask them during the time of interview because they believe that the interview process may go well and fast. As a result, they are more likely to use these times to finish their essential works and keep people record up to date.

On the other hand, despite these advantages, the disadvantages of this trend should not be overlooked. First and foremost, some employers sometimes ask people to send their own information as a part of hiring process. This means that they may share these personal details to call-centre and offeders. So, criminals would use people's detail for certain types of criminal activities, such as online bank frauds. For example, half of samll organizations in Canada collect information from international students and after some time they can sell all these details to criminals to commite crimes.

To conclude, although some people say that employers may use this information to commite crimes, I argue that the advantages outweigh its disadvantages becuase it helps companies to save their time and keep candidates data up to date for the future opportunities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding interview preparation is repetitive and lacks depth, while the point about data security is a bit sensationalized and lacks a logical connection to the prompt's focus on hobbies and marital status. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the points made. To reach a higher band, you should expand on why employers might find personal information useful beyond just 'saving time,' such as assessing cultural fit or team dynamics.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To conclude' effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the second paragraph where 'these people' and 'these times' feel slightly awkward. The flow between sentences is generally smooth, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more sophisticated to improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'multinational company' and 'criminal activities.' However, there are several spelling errors ('statues' instead of 'status', 'appropirate', 'offeders', 'samll', 'commite') and some awkward collocations ('finish their essential works'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider range of precise vocabulary. To improve, focus on using more academic collocations and ensuring the correct spelling of key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as 'collecting such type of information,' 'interview's questions' (possessive error), and 'use these times.' Subject-verb agreement and article usage are generally acceptable, but the frequency of minor errors prevents the response from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering the use of articles and possessives, and ensure that your complex sentence structures are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.