Band 7.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.5)

Some people believe that including personal information and interests when applying for jobs can be useful, while others disagree.

On the one hand, mentioning personal information, hobbies, or interests on a CV can be beneficial. It can help an organization get to know a candidate better on a personal level. Not only can managers become aware of employees’ preferences, but colleagues may also develop a better understanding of one another, particularly during team events. Having a common hobby can provide an opportunity for employees to connect and engage in conversations in the workplace.

On the other hand, mentioning hobbies and personal interests may have some disadvantages as well. Certain personal details may be considered inappropriate or irrelevant in a professional environment. For example, a colleague of mine once faced an awkward situation after openly supporting the Yankees team while working in a Canadian organization. Strong disagreements over personal interests can sometimes create tension among colleagues and negatively affect workplace relationships.

In my opinion, disclosing hobbies and interests should not be mandatory, although employees should be encouraged to share them when they feel comfortable doing so. This can help colleagues get to know each other better. For instance, when arranging a birthday celebration or a team event, a manager could consider employees’ interests and preferences to create a more enjoyable experience for everyone.

In conclusion, although sharing personal interests can help build stronger professional relationships, it should remain a personal choice rather than a mandatory requirement. A positive relationship between managers and employees can contribute to a healthier workplace and, ultimately, benefit the company’s overall progress.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt by discussing both views regarding the inclusion of personal information in job applications and providing a clear personal opinion. Your ideas are relevant and logically extended, particularly in the second and third paragraphs where you provide a concrete example of potential workplace tension. The position is consistent throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, you could further develop the discussion on whether such information is 'relevant' to the actual hiring process, as the prompt asks about employers asking for this information during the application stage, rather than just the social benefits after being hired.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is well-organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central topic, and you use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' effectively to guide the reader. The transition between the benefits of personal information and the potential drawbacks is smooth. The paragraphing is logical and contributes to the overall clarity of the argument. To improve, ensure that the link between the introduction and the body paragraphs is slightly more robust to create a more cohesive flow throughout the entire piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas with precision. Phrases like 'professional environment,' 'mandatory requirement,' and 'healthier workplace' are used appropriately. You avoid repetition and show an ability to use topic-specific language. While the vocabulary is accurate and natural, it is generally functional rather than sophisticated. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more idiomatic expressions or less common collocations that demonstrate a deeper command of the language, such as 'professional boundaries' or 'corporate culture' instead of simpler alternatives.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.5

Your writing displays a good control of grammar with a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are error-free, and your punctuation is generally accurate. You successfully use complex structures, such as 'Not only can managers become aware... but colleagues may also develop...' and 'although employees should be encouraged to share them when they feel comfortable doing so.' These structures are used correctly and enhance the flow of your argument. There are no significant errors that impede communication, and the overall control of syntax is strong.

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