Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

Many employers ask job applicants to provide personal information in addition to qualifications and relevant experience. While some people believe that this information helps employers make better hiring decisions, others argue that it is unnecessary and leads to discrimination. This essay will discuss both views before explaining why I believe that job-related personal information should be considered.

On the one hand, one of the primary reasons why some employers consider personal information useful is that it helps them during the recruitment process. A candidate's interests and hobbies may reveal such important qualities such as teamwork, leadership, creativity or discipline. For instance, someone who regularly participate in team sports might posses strong communication and cooperation skills. Similarly, certain jobs require employers to travel frequently or work flexible hours, so knowing an applicant availability may help employers determine whether the person is suitable or not.

On the other hand, many critics believe that personal details such as marital status, age, family circumstances cannot influence hiring decisions. These information are unrelated to a person's ability to perform a job and may result in unfair treatment and discrimination. For example, an employer might wrongly assume that a married female with children is less committed to work than a single person. Therefore, the recruitment process should be centered on qualifications, processional experience and appropriate skills.

In conclusion, although some personal information can help employers understand an applicant's strengths and relevant skills, unnecessary private details should not influence employment decisions. Thus, I believe that hiring should be primarily based on qualities, qualifications and experience rather than personal circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, such as the link between hobbies and soft skills, or the potential for discrimination regarding marital status. The position is consistent throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, the development of the second viewpoint could be slightly more nuanced; while the example of the married female is effective, further exploration of how 'personal information' might be defined (e.g., distinguishing between relevant availability and irrelevant private status) would strengthen the argument. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic sentence, and ideas progress logically. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Similarly', 'For instance', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. The flow of ideas is smooth, and referencing is generally clear. The structure is coherent, and the progression of the argument is easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to discuss the topic with some precision. You use relevant terms like 'recruitment process', 'hiring decisions', 'marital status', and 'discrimination'. There are some minor errors in word form or collocation, such as 'processional experience' (likely meant 'professional') and 'someone who regularly participate' (subject-verb agreement error affecting lexical accuracy). While the range is adequate for the task, incorporating more sophisticated collocations or less common lexical items would elevate the score. The vocabulary is generally natural and appropriate for the formal tone required in an IELTS essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over complex sentences, such as 'While some people believe that this information helps employers make better hiring decisions, others argue that it is unnecessary'. However, there are several grammatical slips, including subject-verb agreement errors ('someone who regularly participate' should be 'participates'; 'These information are' should be 'This information is') and a minor spelling error ('posses' should be 'possess'). These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher band score. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences would improve this score.

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