Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In recent time, job applications contain plenty of details such as hobbies, candidate is either married or single which are appropriate to the company as it supports in creating ease in hiring process and arranging some flexible schedule, whereas others are totally disagree due to privacy issues and discrimination. Thus, this essay will discuss both the views before presenting my own opinion.

The first and foremost, basic data helps corporation to develop plenty of plans to distribute work according to the personality of applicant. To illustrate, if candidate is an introvert and does not prefer to work in team environment, company could evaluate hiring process based on requirement of position. Consequently, it assists company to make an excellent decision in order to reduce employ turnover ratio. In addition, knowledge of family background enables employer to provide flexibility in some considerable work trips. To elaborate, married employee may have few limitation in travelling away from family. In this case, company may provide opportunities like meeting with video conference.

However, private details may hamper privacy of the potential employee since it involves some risk that company might be able to share this information with third party for their own benefits. Thus, people are not feeling secured when they are sharing each and every detail. Moreover, personal data may create biases because companies are judging candidates based on their hobbies. for example, a qualified software technician have all the qualities to be suitable for position but he or she is judging based on some hobbies which is not appropriate to the position.

As far as I am concerned, companies should follow balanced approach by taking only relevant information which really matter to the position which help them to build impression and privacy concerns are mitigating to the candidate.

In conclusion, Personal information helps in creating flexibility and providing work as per personality. Nevertheless, it hampers privacy of applicant and may create discrimination based on hobbies and in my opinion, company should follow balanced approach.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of work-life balance and potential discrimination. However, some arguments are slightly under-developed; for instance, the link between hobbies and job suitability could be explained with more depth. The position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting example is fully explored to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the implications of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different viewpoints. Cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'However', and 'Consequently' are used to guide the reader through the argument. While the progression of ideas is generally clear, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. Referencing is mostly accurate, though some sentences could be linked more fluidly to improve the overall flow of the text. Overall, the structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use less common items like 'introvert', 'turnover ratio', and 'mitigating'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'In recent time' (should be 'In recent times') and 'people are not feeling secured' (should be 'people do not feel secure'). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precise and sophisticated vocabulary would be required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('if candidate is an introvert'), subject-verb agreement issues ('a qualified software technician... are judging'), and punctuation errors (e.g., lowercase 'for example'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic article usage and ensuring consistent verb tense and agreement throughout the response.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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