Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Sharing personal informations while applying for jobs can be view from two differents perspectives. While some people believe that it is unnecessary and will not be serviceable, others argue that it may be pertinent and useful. Both positions have reasonable arguments, and this essaye will examine them before giving my opinion.
On one hand, the main argument in favour of not sharing is that talking about hobbies will not be professional durring an interview. In other words, going through the person's lifestyle or intrests is not important to discuss on the first day. For example, when in an interview it is crucial to ask about skills like teamwork, time management not whether he likes to read books or likes biking. There for this is a clear reason why some people support this position.
On the other hand, supporters of the sharing argue that those informations may be relevant. The main reason is that some companies give some benifits for employers with special needs. For instances, workers who have children which can make them benefit from daycare discounts and availbilites for example. This praticularly important because it allows the employers to be less stressed about some of their responsibilities. In my view, sharing those kind of informations is more convincing because it has more good incoms then bad but ofcaurse with limits.
In conclusion, both sides have valid arguments. However, I believe that mentioning those personal informations is useful. Primarily because in will offer such help and benifets in each person's conditions. Ovarall this position appears to have a more significant impact in the long term.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'daycare discounts' is a specific example of benefits, but the connection between personal information like marital status and professional suitability could be explored with more depth. The essay maintains a consistent position throughout, but the reasoning in the body paragraphs is slightly repetitive and lacks the sophistication required for a higher band. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with more detailed explanations of how these factors impact the employer-employee relationship.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'There for this is a clear reason.' The use of referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used more naturally would enhance the coherence of the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors, such as 'informations' (which is an uncountable noun and should be 'information'), 'durring,' 'intrests,' 'benifits,' 'availbilites,' 'praticularly,' 'incoms,' and 'ofcaurse.' These errors are frequent and occasionally distract the reader. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'pertinent' and 'professional,' the overall range is limited. To reach a higher band, the student needs to focus on correct spelling, the proper use of uncountable nouns, and incorporating a wider range of academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'can be view' (should be 'viewed'), 'those informations' (should be 'that information'), and 'in will offer' (should be 'it will offer'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the sentence structure is sometimes repetitive. While the meaning is usually clear, the frequency of errors in basic grammar—such as subject-verb agreement and pluralization—prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve the quality of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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