Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single.in my opinion I should agree with this.

As this is very useful thing because employer is your company partner and if he might ask about you that are you married or single , basically his aim is to tell you about the company policies , Like Health insurance and PF funds and other financial Polices.

Here is a real life example :

As i am currently working in an Oil marketing company in 2018 i have joined that company when i joined that company my employer asked me are single or married either married do you have kids ? So i told him yes i am married and having 2 kids he said me hurry up and go to the Hr office and told them that i am married and having two kids and claim the health insurance card and enter your family persons name also so in case of any emergency you can claim the 3 million health insurance money so its was helpful for you and your family .

as according to some people i agreed that i discuss with my employer is very helpful for me and my family

Here is another question which my employer ask was about my hobbies and interests and i told him that my hobbies are playing cricket and reading books and having same interests .

so here is an other real life example regarding my hobby etc :

that as i told my employer he said me good and tell me about company co-curricular activities that in an year our company played cricket tournament and said a library is also on 3rd floor of building.

as according to me that this sharing of information is very helpful for me that i know company policies and culture.

As many of peoples disagree with this because they do not want to share there personal life as in that result they bear the loss

because they will be faraway from the company benefits policies and cultures.

Here is another real life example of my friend :

He got the job in Dubai software house , his employer asked him about that are you married or not and what are you hobbies he did not share a single personal information and he was unable to claim any thing because of his not sharing .

conclusion :

As according to be people how share accurate information and true information with company and employer got more benefits then who not shared.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat repetitive, relying heavily on personal anecdotes rather than a broader discussion of the topic. While the prompt asks to discuss both views, the essay focuses almost exclusively on the benefits of sharing information, with only a brief, underdeveloped mention of why some people disagree. To improve, you should balance the discussion by exploring the potential privacy concerns or risks of discrimination that opponents of this practice might cite, rather than just focusing on the loss of benefits.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by informal transitions and a lack of cohesive devices. Phrases like 'Here is a real life example' are used repeatedly, which makes the structure feel mechanical. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, and the connection between sentences is often weak. The use of paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of these paragraphs lacks the necessary signposting to guide the reader smoothly through the argument. Improving the use of linking words such as 'furthermore,' 'consequently,' or 'on the other hand' would significantly enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'useful,' 'good,' and 'helpful.' There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'company partner' (likely meaning colleague or employer) and 'bear the loss.' While the meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is not sufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more precise terminology related to employment, human resources, and professional communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence structure (e.g., 'as according to me that this sharing...'). Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, making them difficult to parse. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often inaccurate. To reach a higher band, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and reducing the frequency of errors in articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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