Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate about whether workers' personal information, such as their hobbies, interests, and marital status. Some people believe that it is relevant and beneficial, whereas others argue that this should not to be shared. Although both views have their merits, I believe that a balanced approach is more convincing.

One compelling argument in favour of sharing personal information while applying for jobs is that company should comfirm what types of personalities work under their hands. This is because it allows company to decide what kind of work should assign to their employees on the basis of their abilities. For example, if candidates write in their cv that they are able to provide instruction more than five six people if may good chance to get promotion and be able to get better role.

On the other hand, those favour latter opinion have their own arguments. To begin with, providing personal details may not be necessary, such as marital status. Because marital status cannot decide personal abilities to handle workplace challenges. For example, If company is currently dealing with new product ideas this will not help whether employee is married or not, this depend on the ability of thinking.

From my perspectives, while applying for the jobs, company should only asked about candidates experience, qualifications instead of, personal details such as marital status and hobbies. As company require to know whether wrong person is not working there.

To conclude, and offer my position, I believe that balanced approach is more convincing it is beneficial for both organization and individuals as company may have concern such as, qualified person working under them ,and for individuals personal life question should remain private.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The explanation of why hobbies might be relevant is vague, and the argument against sharing personal information is repetitive. The conclusion is a bit disjointed and does not clearly synthesize the points made. While the task is addressed, the supporting arguments lack depth and clarity, which prevents the response from reaching a higher band. To improve, ensure that each point is fully explained with clear, logical reasoning rather than just stating the idea.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'those favour latter opinion' or 'From my perspectives'. The progression of ideas is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing, making the flow feel disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion could be smoother. While the overall arrangement is coherent, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the occasional misuse of cohesive devices limit the score.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of awkward word choices, such as 'comfirm what types of personalities work under their hands' and 'this depend on the ability of thinking'. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited, relying on basic terms. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of more sophisticated or precise language prevents a higher score. Focusing on collocations and more academic phrasing would significantly improve the quality of the writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Examples include 'should not to be shared', 'company should comfirm', 'if may good chance', and 'company should only asked'. These errors are persistent and sometimes affect the clarity of the message. While the reader can understand the intended meaning, the lack of control over basic grammar and sentence structure is a significant issue. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences is essential for improvement.

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