Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era people have distinct views. Some individuals believe that Job providers ask workers to apply for the job in their company to know about their personal information and their interests. However, they are married or not .While others argues that This is a breach of private information. I personally favour the latter perspective. However, my essay shall dwell upon both the viewpoints in the subsequent paragraphs followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Firstly, Some believe that Personal information should be confidental before achieving a job. The Main reason is that privacy because some employers uses this information to know about the age, gender of the individuals which is not a right thing and they decide that they will give job to that individuals based on their gender and interests which is the main reason of unemployment in the global market .For example-The survey conducted by the university of London in 2011 states that the suicide ratee among youngsters were increased every year to 3 percent because of they were not getting jobs whether they are suitable for that jobs posting.

On the other hand, Other argues that That would be a beneficial for managers or employers if they know about the employees interests or skills beforehand they provides jobs to them because if they know firstly about skills of workers match with companies policies they save their time and resources.

In conclusion, Although Nowdays most of employers are Using personal information of candidates to know about their skills,I believe that its not a right thing if employers know about persons gender and age and they make decisions about jobs posting for that. It leads to unemployment between individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding why employers might want personal information is underdeveloped, and the example provided about suicide rates is not clearly linked to the prompt's focus on hobbies and marital status. The essay covers all parts of the task, but the depth of analysis is inconsistent, leading to a response that feels somewhat superficial in its exploration of the complexities of recruitment practices.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the logical flow is often disrupted by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. While cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'On the other hand' are used, they are sometimes followed by sentences that do not flow naturally from the previous point. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'they' in the second paragraph, which makes it difficult to track whether the writer is referring to employers or applicants. Paragraphing is present but lacks a sophisticated structure.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'job providers' instead of 'employers' and 'confidental' (spelling error). The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on basic terms like 'right thing' and 'good' rather than more academic or precise alternatives. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of flexibility and the presence of spelling errors prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some employers uses'), incorrect verb tenses, and punctuation errors (e.g., 'For example-The'). The misuse of articles and prepositions is also common. While the writer attempts complex sentences, these are often faulty, which limits the overall accuracy of the writing.

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