Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
When people are hired for the jobs certain questions are important for qualify the job. On the one side, some employers are asking personal questionnare about hobbies, interests and their relationship status which is neccessory and important. While, on the other side people think that those information is not important at all. Before commenting on my opinion, this essay will discuss both the sides in the ensuing paragraphs.
Advocates who believes personal questions are crucial have following reasons. First of all, they can get an idea about individuals interest areas. If person have good skills organizing, having an extrovert nature, excellent communication skills then they can hire in suitable area such as in receptionist. Furthermore, if employees are single and married, they know accordingly that how long individuals will stay for the job as people specially women have more responsibilties after marriage and they leave the job.
However, on the other side people think that personal questionnare are irrelevent and not important. To begin with, educational background and previous work experience is more essential. As in the future, in the work environment these area helps a lot rather than hobbies and interests.
For instance, having a degree in medical field and getting a job in hospital is a best example for qualification rather than asking them their marriage status or personal information.
To conclude and offer my position, I support the latter view as educational background and previous work experience more matter the most when hire for a job instead asking employees about personal questions, hobbies and interests.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both sides and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding marital status and women's responsibilities is a generalization that lacks depth and could be considered stereotypical. While the position is clear, the supporting arguments, particularly in the second paragraph, are brief and could benefit from more detailed explanation or concrete examples to reach a higher band. The essay remains relevant throughout, but the depth of analysis is consistent with a mid-range performance.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'First of all', 'Furthermore', and 'However', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or awkward, such as 'While, on the other side people think'. Additionally, there are issues with referencing; for example, 'those information' is grammatically incorrect and creates a slight disruption in flow. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the overall structure could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks range and precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'questionnare' (questionnaire), 'neccessory' (necessary), and 'irrelevent' (irrelevant). Word choice is occasionally imprecise, such as 'qualify the job' instead of 'qualify for the job' or 'suitability for the job'. The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles with collocations. To improve, the student should focus on using more academic vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling of common terms to avoid impeding the reader's understanding.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'Advocates who believes' (believe) and 'those information is' (that information is). There are also errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in the medical field' and 'when hire for a job' (when hiring). While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. More attention to basic grammar rules and sentence construction is required.
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