Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays due to digitalization, most of the recruiters prefer to hire employees through online applications and interview processes. They sometimes asks for some personal details which are relevant for some individuals while others finds it to be unnecessary. I will be discussing both the views and will give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, the reason behind asking for personal interest questions is, it gives a recruiter a basic insight of the personality traits of the applicants. For example, if interviewing applicant answers that he or she likes art or have hobbies relating to art, shows he or she might be very creative and mentally organized. Also, there is a reason behind asking whether the job applicant is married or not because single employees are always seeking for higher opportunities. As a result, those employees can easily change their jobs and move to another company. Therefore, any organization finds married applicant to be more stable and honest while consider singles as a liability for the company. Due to this valid points some people find asking personal information to be legit.

On the opposite side, many others believe asking personal details is irrelevant. Firstly, for some individuals sharing personal information might be not comfortable due to being afraid of coming it into the public later on. Following this, some fraud companies share personal contact details to the different call centers, marketing agencies or advertising companies that sends unnecessary emails and text messages to the people. For instance, as per the current survey millions of people are getting fraud messages from unknown contacts without even sharing personal contact details directly with them.

To summarize, in my opinion due to ongoing numbers of fraudulent calls and details beings lost there are more downside of sharing a details to any company than to give them information which is not directly causing any benefit to the employees later.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and provides a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding marital status is quite controversial and lacks nuance, focusing on a generalization that single employees are 'liabilities.' The second body paragraph shifts focus from the relevance of personal information to the issue of data privacy and fraud, which is a related but slightly different topic. While the task is addressed, the depth of analysis could be improved by focusing more on the professional relevance of hobbies and personal status rather than pivoting to cybersecurity concerns.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Also,' 'On the opposite side,' and 'To summarize' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'Following this' used to introduce a new point. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the ideas in the second paragraph and the prompt's core question about 'relevance' could be tighter.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'digitalization' and 'personality traits.' However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'coming it into the public' instead of 'becoming public' and 'there are more downside' instead of 'there are more downsides.' These errors do not impede communication, but they limit the score as they demonstrate a lack of precision in more complex expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('They sometimes asks,' 'others finds') and article usage errors ('a details,' 'the different call centers'). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of the main points. To reach a higher band, the writer needs to demonstrate more consistent control over basic grammatical rules and reduce the frequency of these slips in simple sentence constructions.

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