Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
Boss of the company sometimes enquire workers applying for jobs about their private information, such as their hobbies and leisure time activities, and their martial status. Some individual say this information may be relevant and useful, while others disagree. Although having the information related to employee helps to delegate the work as per their interest, I believe that it leads to breach of privacy law of the company.
On the one hand, if the employer is well informed regarding the interest of the employee, it not only become easier for management to divide the work as per the interest of worker but also work along the co-workers of the same interest. For example, Amazon before hiring any staff to the company asks personal information for the background check of the employee. Thus, it helps the management to take the wise decisions regarding the recruitment of new staff.
On the other hand, since there is alot of valuable information regarding the employee asked during the interview, it can lead to misuse of information if handled by wrong person in the management. As the number of crimes are increasing at an alarming rate, it can result into identity theft using the private information of the employee. For instance, the private data of TD bank clients was leaked by the hacker, which include large amount of private information that lead to identity theft.
In conclusion, it becomes easier to delegate the work if the employer knows about the personal information such as their hobbies and interest, and whether they are married or unmarried. In my opinion, excess of personal information regarding the employee can lead to wrong usage of private information, and it can also offend the privacy act of the company.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, discussing both views and providing a clear personal opinion. The position is consistent throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. The argument regarding the benefits of knowing hobbies is a bit generic, and the example of Amazon is not fully explained in terms of how hobbies specifically aid recruitment. Similarly, the counter-argument regarding privacy is relevant but could be more deeply explored beyond the mention of identity theft. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by more detailed reasoning or specific, well-integrated examples that directly link to the prompt's core question.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two opposing views. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow, such as the transition between the Amazon example and the management decision. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the internal cohesion within paragraphs could be strengthened by using a wider variety of linking words and better pronoun referencing.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'delegate', 'recruitment', and 'alarming rate'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'enquire workers' instead of 'inquire of workers' or 'ask workers', and 'offend the privacy act' instead of 'violate privacy regulations'. Additionally, 'martial status' is a spelling error for 'marital status'. While these errors do not impede communication, they limit the score as they indicate a lack of precision in more academic contexts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors throughout the text, such as 'Boss of the company sometimes enquire' (subject-verb agreement), 'it not only become easier' (tense error), and 'the number of crimes are increasing' (subject-verb agreement). There are also minor punctuation and article usage issues. While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent verb tense usage, as these are foundational elements that currently detract from the overall accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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